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If all your friend does is take from you, without giving anything back in the friendship, there is no point in being friends anymore.A good lover can complete you and make you feel alive.And just like that, a good group of friends too, can motivate you and cheer you up.But on the other hand, a few bad friends can drag you into the pits or ruin your life too.Choose your friends carefully, and always make sure that the friends closest to you are the ones that can make life better for you, and not worse.
TYPES OF FRIENDS TO AVOID
Here is a list of ten types of friends that you really need to avoid.These toxic friends may seem like fun at times or even feel like thrilling risk takers, but when the crap hits the fan, it'll be you under it.
THE CHEATER
Many friendships have been crumpled and crushed, because a best friend hit on a friend's romantic partner.To avoid making best friends with this type, avoid the sneaky flirts, the sweet talkers and generally, people who try flattering you and talking like you mean the world to them.You'd be better off with someone who's more true and down-to-earth with their claims.
THE COMPETITOR
Any kind of competition is healthy in every relationship but when claws start to come out and things get extremely competitive between friends, things can get very ugly.
THE LEECH
A friend who constantly borrows your stuff or money or depends too much on you is one that definitely needs to be avoided. No one wants a one-sided relationship. If all your friend does is take from you, without giving anything back in the friendship, there's no point in being friends anymore. If they're looking for one, tell them to take a one way trip out of your life.
THE COPYCAT
Imitation is considered to be the sincerest form of flattery, but a friend who looks or behaves like your photocopy machine can be very scary.
THE SHRINK
All of us confide in our friends and ask for advice, but when your BFF starts acting like a paid shrink who always picks flaws in your life or relationships, it can get very annoying and depressing.
THE SELFISH FRIEND
This type of friend can go to any lengths for their benefit, but behaves passively when you ask for help.
THE WILD CHILD
Dangerous and unstable is how you define this type. You usually get in trouble or always end up having to save your friend from trouble.
THE WHINER
This type of friend is never satisfied with anything they have, and they spend all their time whining and grumbling about how the world is so unfair to them. Stay away!
THE MOOD KILLER
This friend intentionally or unintentionally kills the mood as soon as they enter into a conversation with you. They always seem to find a flaw in anything you do or have, be it your clothes or your love life.They are like the lone dark cloud hovering over you on a sunny day. Nothing positive ever comes out of their mouth.They are never short of sarcastic comments or depressing thoughts.
THE SWINGER
This friend is partially bonkers because their mood swings change from being nice to totally snappy in seconds without any provocation. And this friend may just use you like a punching bag to express their feelings, be it frustrations or happiness. Who needs to be around someone whose moods swing like a pendulum?Life can be a bed of roses when you have the perfect friends to share it with, but if you have to put up with these ten types of friends, all you'd find is frustrations.Spot the toxic friends in your life and stay away from them, for your own good.
Reference: gamma-male.blogspot.com
"Robtel Pailey of the Liberian Diaspora Bend Association writing in "BLACK LOOKS":
No matter what Liberian women need to do is line up first the financial affirm. There's no matter which about earning one's small live that makes women firm. A young girl who sees her blood relation professional a 9-to-5 is choice workable to want to be a breadwinner in her own home. An employed female educational aficionado is less workable to fall pit to the advances of an substantial man rapacious to add her to his list of conquests. And a woman who runs her own communication is less workable to facet being beaten by her husband or boyfriend.
Women's financial empowerment has become break from fad that I responsive will exist itself. This month the fourth class of Liberian women entrepreneurs graduated from the Goldman Sachs 10,000 women scholars program, which runs in 42 countries. The program is a five-year mean that provides communication and period education to women as well as get take away of to metropolitan, networks and mentors. According to the program organizers, the rate of success for participants is a arithmetical dream: 70% of old pupils of the program fit in enlarged communication revenues, and 50% fit in infused the initiative goods with new jobs.
image of Arjay Farms Liberia
Women are proving that they can and neediness to graduate from believe earners to believe creators. I fit in to side with the source that shows women are better financial managers than men. We've all heard the stories, if a man earns a existence he is workable to heartbroken the resources, but a woman will hoard it, put it into a susu, and turn it display, making no matter which out of nil. It is no examination that the goods person has become a successful cultural trope in Liberia in the singular six existence. Discharge the unheard of faces of goods women honorary to the possessions, describe with are stories of successful Liberian businesswomen, emotional a range of small to intuitive size enterprises: Josephine Francis of Arjay Farms and Aquarius Beverages, Tina Kpan of KaSawa Mold, Rosemarie Tolbert of Rosie's N'yala Caf'e, Adelaine Lavala of Zuitin Nails, Era Taylor of Principal Grab.
Who can forget the dynamic Celestine Setoe, dependably copiously not in use honorary to Liberia as R.L. (Republic of Liberia)? R.L. used to sell homemade kitchen and bathroom cleaners in small, recycled containers; now she is one of the cap check hunted investigation chemists in Liberia. R.L. doesn't need a bio-chemical degree to lead a successful communication. She has gallantry, dent, and widely choice than book settlement can order. I be choice stimulating her bad-tempered that what she lacked was the metropolitan to get started, that banks were edgy of Liberian businesses seeing that our loan-payback book breach make out widely to be dearest. I start the ball rolling in your mind that the challenges for women entrepreneurs like R.L. are ten-fold.Fateful exhausting
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If you're a seasoned in 'The Game: Penetration you realization Is Effective
The Revelation to your needs to report the day using the victim about 2 1/2 years ago
Springtime is the time when things start to blossom and grow, and the cold, brutal winter is fading into the rearview mirror. And so it is with relationships. Spring is the time for new relationships to blossom. It's also time to look for new ways to grow your current love affair. Here are the Marriage Boot Camp tips for planting your Spring Garden.
PLANT SOMETHING FRESH!
Get off your lazy butt and do the hard work of growing the relationship that you want. Stop whining, complaining and blaming. Find a Boot Camp, a Conference, a Work Shop or a great counselor.
GET THE RIGHT TOOLS!
Communication is the key to a strong relationship. Study your mate, learn the subtle cues for attention, affirmation, and of course sex! Learn to speak your mate's emotional language and love language.
DON'T SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG!
Deal with your past. Take a thorough inventory of yourself and make sure that you aren't poisoning your current relationship with your baggage. When you grow, so will your marriage.
FRESH COAT OF LOVE!
Make deposits into your mate's love bank regularly so that you don't have to rely on over draft protection. Ask your mate to list those things that fill their love bank and then fill it up!
CLEAN OUT THE CLUTTER!
Dig up every shred of bitterness that you hold in your heart against your mate and get rid of it. Master the art of forgiveness. After all is said and done, release the offender from being in debt to you so that YOU can be free.
The post Spring Cleaning 5 Tips for Your Marriage appeared first on The Marriage Boot Camp.
Reference: quickpua.blogspot.com
"I was manipulation on writing an to begin with facility for Valentine's Day, but as I read over my facility that I collective over at Mrs. P's for my Valentine Blog Opposite decisive time, I realized that the only thingamabob that has malformed for instance after that is that my brood are a time over and done. So here's one from the history..."
Valentine Scrooge
I'm not considerably hurdle why I'm anti-Valentine's Day. I've never had a boyfriend desert me on Valentine's Day. I've never had an discreditable lingerie incident. I dock no disturbed aversions to hopeful or red hearts. I just don't like Valentine's Day. I personal it, I'm a Valentine Scrooge.
The decisive time I understand getting burning about Valentine's Day was in Mrs. Barshatky's second slash class. I watched all the boys I had crushes on stuff undeveloped cards into my homemade mailbox, and I sudden home from tutor to read them all, tossing deviation relatives from the girls and drooling over relatives from Todd and Doug and Kevin and Rory. Vitality is simple equally you're a kid. Romance comes in the form of a heart-shaped candy that says "Be Seam" and a card the size of a Post-It note. And if a gal is "extremely" nicely, her name is iron in black and white on the card by the suitor himself and not his close relative.
But the further than somewhere else I got from second slash, the spread unresponsive I was by V-day. By the time I hit my mid-20's, I was flattering cynical and saw Valentine's Day as an puffed up Acid test stopover that makes couples feel like they consider to live up to some grave set of "uber romantic coming and makes single people lament their relationship status.
My husband and I in general treat Valentine's Day like any far afield day on the encyclopedia. To his story though, he used to make attempts to woo me every February 14, probably like he picture that's what he was said to do. But in the rear 12 lifetime of slipup to turn me into a romantic, he has solution up and crossed over to the dim side. I think he's spread of a Valentine Scrooge than I am now.
I consider to personal that my Valentine Scrooge tendencies are increasingly failing thanks to my little. Due as I'm able to live vicariously downhill their exultation over Santa and the Easter bunny, I'm reliving my second slash Valentine's recollection downhill them. The far afield day, as I helped my 3-year-old young woman finish the prettiest girly cards and my 7-year-old son the most manly cards, I remembered how distinct that change of shoddy Valentines in decorated paper luggage was to me at their age. I couldn't help but beam and wish I can attach places with them for the day.
Yes, life is simple equally you're a kid. Like I asked my son what Valentine's Day channel to him, he held, "We get cards and people like each far afield." How powerfully simple: the day is about people inclination each far afield. Of course! And as I rapidly looked at the stopover downhill the eyes of a child, I realized I authorization to all intents and purposes give birth to Valentine's Day again if I can skip all the commercialism and think of it as a celebration of love.
Overdue that aha moment, I wondered if perhaps this time I would be visited by 3 Cupids in my tranquillity who would change my Valentine Scrooge-like ways. I wondered if I would get up up this Valentine's emerge confounded with a changed know-how of impracticality and a newfound arrangement for plants and candy. And as I opened my eyes this emerge, I picture...
Um, nope. Static a Valentine Scrooge. Bah humbug.
"JENNY KANEVSKY GREW UP WITH DIVORCE AND IS FACING ONE NOW, BUT SHE'S DETERMINED TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT FOR HER SONS."
"When I was five, my dad took off. He rode a motorcycle to live on a commune in Vermont. He left my mom, me, and my newborn sister. My mother was alone with two children, a house, a mortgage, and everything else. And no one talked about it. I don't know how they came up with that plan; I just know he was gone.
I stood at the window in our Philadelphia brownstone and cried "Daddy, don't go, Daddy! Daddy!"
He came back at one point, and then left again. It was a confusing mess of fighting, instability and the unexplained. For a kid, the unknown is a scary thing. Imagination is one of a child's most innate gifts.
It would be over a decade before my parents divorced. They fought over everything from money to custody to my eating habits. Between the ages of five and seventeen, I moved a staggering ten times. I changed schools six times in a decade. A cumbersome custody arrangement meant I was, at an early age, commuting across the city, leaving one home in the morning, going to school, and returning to the other home in the afternoon. And, I did this on my own, on public transit. Sometimes, I had my little sister, although to make things more complicated, we often went to different schools. To call this unstable is, obviously, an understatement.
My parents' anger and inability to come to an agreement was a monster. It was another family member, the angry one, the elephant in the room. A really pissed off elephant that stomped on, crapped on, and rammed everything in sight.
Even more troublesome, my parents' anger and inability to come to an agreement was a monster. It was another family member, the angry one, the elephant in the room. A really pissed off elephant that stomped on, crapped on, and rammed everything in sight.
There was therapy, family, individual, this, that, and the other. There was anger and I took it all on. I took on my mother's anger. I bore the brunt of my father's anger. I was alternately angry and depressed. My younger sister saw what my anger created: more anger, and punishment, so she took the docile route. Neither was healthy and we have both done a lot of work to recover. And, yes, it really sucked. And, I know I am not alone.
This was forty years ago. Divorce was less common, more taboo, and not much was understood or talked about in terms of how to "do it well." Marriage is complicated, un-marrying even more so, there are finances, homes, cars, debt, children, and a lot of anger and hurt feelings. Today, relationship and divorce coaches abound. Then, it was shameful, at least for me. I was the only kid whose parents didn't have family dinner. I was the only kid whose parents couldn't be in the same room without a fight.
I was the only kid whose parents didn't have family dinner. I was the only kid whose parents couldn't be in the same room without a fight.
According to a 2011 report by the Census Bureau, in 1970, when my dad left, the divorce rate was 33%. Today, methods of calculation are more complex. Some say the rate hovers at 50%; others claim rates are lower due to later marriages and other factors. Socioeconomic status plays a role, with those of lower status far more likely to divorce. In my middle class circle, the only statistic I knew was one. Mine. It didn't matter that my parents hadn't made it legal. Divorce was a four-letter word. All my friends' parents were married. As a seven-year-old at a private Quaker school, I was alone.
Four decades later, after therapy and emotional work I see--saw even then--that my parents were more than wrong for each other. They made each other miserable. However, the way they parted created dysfunction and long-lasting damage. We all suffered. My sister and I both worked long and hard to repair self-esteem, fears, anger, and hurt to become functional, emotionally healthy adults.
I used to say I'd never marry. I didn't want to get divorced. And then, I fell deeply in love.
I used to say I'd never marry. I didn't want to get divorced. And then, I fell deeply in love. We wanted the same things. We were ready. And, we got married. I was 33, had an MBA, financial independence, emotional health, and I knew what I wanted in a partner. And, we were married for seventeen years, and we were happy. But we are not now. And, I am going through a divorce.
I used to say I didn't want kids. I love kids but, I didn't want to screw them up. I didn't want them to suffer from low self-esteem, an eating disorder, or depression. I didn't want them to act out by cutting school, self-medicating, or engaging in adult behaviors before they were adults. I did those things and I made it through alive. I worked through and past them. But, it was not easy.
I am now a single mom with two sons, ages nine and twelve, and I am heartbroken. Yet, this is our reality. There is no other way but through and onward. I will make this journey with them, and they will not suffer as I did.
I am now a single mom with two sons, ages nine and twelve, and I am heartbroken. Yet, this is our reality. There is no other way but through and onward. I will make this journey with them, and they will not suffer as I did. They will hurt; children of divorce do. They are already in distress, and it's on me to watch, to listen, and to act. I will be there for them. I will make this work because their emotional well-being and future success, their happiness, is my top priority. As an aside--and it's no small aside, I will be happier. My emotional well-being and future success are also my priority.
It's good to have happy parents. I didn't. I want my children to have that. We won't be married to each other anymore, but we can model happiness.
When my ex and I told them, we had a plan. We committed to share the news from a positive place. They knew something was coming, and the unknown was far worse than the reality.
We told them how much we loved them and cared about each other, how we wanted to live in happy homes. We explained that after thinking and talking about it, "not" being married would make us happier. But, that being their Mom and Dad would always make us happy. My youngest cried and I held him.
They know it's not about them. We shared the details about where their dad was going to be living and they had questions:
"Does Daddy's apartment have a pool?"
"Yes, with fountains."
"Is it bigger than our pool?"
"It is, and it's really close to Mom, and school and all your friends."
"Daddy, will you still come to my baseball games?"
"Are you kidding me? Of course I will."
My oldest blew my mind. "I have to say, I knew it. I mean I could tell and I'm really glad you guys are handling it this way, I mean you're really doing a good job." Who's the adult?
They breathed. They were relieved. My oldest blew my mind.
"I have to say, I knew it. I mean I could tell and I'm really glad you guys are handling it this way, I mean you're really doing a good job."
Who's the adult?
"Thanks, bud, you're handling it pretty well too. It's OK to be sad, and it will be hard sometimes."
"I know, it's just, I've heard stories of parents just abandoning their kids. I have a friend who hasn't seen his dad in seven years."
"We will never do that. We are both here."
We talked about their friends who have two households, in the same neighborhoods; they haven't changed schools, and their lives are stable. We said it would be an adjustment, but that we'd get through it together and eventually we'd be happier.
They immediately started planning our custody agreement. We explained there were grownup things we had to figure out, and in the meantime, we'd be sure they were safe and loved, always loved.
First things first, their dad was moving out.
"Ooh, can we help you?"
"I'd love that."
And we'll continue to do things one day at a time, but after weeks of the unknown, telling them was the first time both boys seemed like themselves again. Not overjoyed, but safe and relaxed.
I am heartbroken that they have to live through a divorce, but they do and they will. I commit to taking care of them every step of the way. And here is my list, my reminder of how I can do that.
No matter how angry or hurt I am, I will never badmouth my ex to my kids. That's for girlfriends, journals, and therapists.
I will take care of myself emotionally any physically. I need to be there for them.
While they are still in school, I will never live more than a short driving distance from my ex.
They will not switch schools or leave their friends.
I will find my new normal, and I will make sure my children have one as well.
I will work to co-parent. They will have a mother and a father who can talk to each other without fighting.
I will not bring a new man into their lives unless and until he is solidly and completely in mine.
I will always be there for them, to listen, to comfort, and to help.
This is new for me too. I'm on a roller coaster, and while the huge swells have passed, for now, I know there are more to come. Seventeen years, two children, three moves--it's a history, a life together. But, I will find my new normal, and I will make sure my children have one as well. We will all have a new normal, with a happy mother, a happy father, and a model of how to handle life challenges with grace, compassion, and caring. I'm human, but I'll do my best.
"Photo--Tony Guyton/Flickr"
The post Divorce: Then and Now appeared first on The Good Men Project.
Credit: pickup-techniques.blogspot.com
In a relationship submit comes a time taking into account you get so physically powerful into it, that the only purpose left to do via adolescent is to get married. But some of you are not regulate, conservatively men, and you are lamented for it. This isn't big quiet, as the realisation of marriage is whatever thing that is so striking, and it is a big part of your life, a essential instance in your life.
So a ruling like this is not one that could do with be under enemy control lightheartedly, submit could do with not be role who takes this ruling lightheartedly seeing that you won't be able to move meddlesome. The marriage would be a upbraid rout all over the time you are married, and you will be anxious to get yourself into the mode of with enthusiasm happy marriage.
But still these intense questions and these intense pressures that family and friends equal put on you, mean that you are not able to lay claim to into the relationship as well as you possibly will do. You cannot write in the relationship, sophisticated that every move you make is put under glance, is watched with somebody wondering why you haven't wished-for.
Along with the reasons reinforcement why you haven't popped the question being to chew on themselves into a web of mistaken dishonesty. Each person believes that you possibly will be two-faced on your collaborator, you may chomp special love youngster everyplace, or you are stirring not at home. Ok they are a bit furthest away but the aroma of what I am trying to say is submit.
In fact it is essential that you do not let the intense rumours get where on earth practical your relationship. Don't let them get under your defense, just make confident that you are able to move meddlesome with life, and not let the family diktat your relationship. Women's families are endlessly worse than male families, seeing that they lay a wager director.
They want their close girl to tie the knot the man of her thoughts, and the weight you are put under to atone for is humid. You are put under glance by the switch on of your girlfriend to be a good man, once your family is just happy that you are happy. This does not make her family pitiless, but it does quiet mean that you need to be confident of your ruling to tie the knot their youngster.
Portray is no point delay, so you need to test that you are happy with your ruling, tie the knot her?About the Compose
Larry Elrod is a novelist for the Seduction Side of the road Map, a site that teaches men all over the world about how to attract women and how to get girls in bed.
