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"Happiness is as a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you"." (Nathaniel Hawthorne)A key question for people hoping to improve their well-being is whether it is counter-productive to focus too hard on the end goal of being happier. Philosophers like John Stuart Mill have proposed that it is - he wrote that happiness comes to those who "have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness." A pertinent study published in 2003 by Jonathan Schooler and his colleagues (pdf) supported this idea: participants who listened to music with the intention of feeling happier actually ended up feeling less happy than others who merely listened to the music with no happiness goal.
But now a new study has come along which purports to show that trying deliberately to be happier is beneficial after all. Yuna Ferguson and Kennon Sheldon criticise the Schooler study on the basis that the music used - Stravinsky's Rite of Spring - is not conducive to happiness, and that's why it interfered with deliberate attempts to feel happier.
Ferguson and Sheldon had 167 participants spend 12 minutes listening either to Rite of Spring or an upbeat section from Rodeo by Copland. Crucially, half the participants were instructed to relax and observe their natural reactions to the music. "It is important that you do not try to consciously improve your mood," they were told. The other participants received the opposite instructions - "really focus on improving your mood".
Afterwards, two measures of mood were taken - one based on six words like "joyful"; the other a continuous measure of positive feelings. The participants who'd listened to the cheery music, "and" simultaneously tried to improve their mood, reported feeling in a more positive mood than the participants who'd merely listened to the upbeat music, and the participants who'd listened to the down-beat music, whether they strived to feel happier or not. This was despite the fact that the groups did not differ in how much they'd enjoyed the activity, or how "pressured" they'd felt to complete it.
A second study was similar, but this time 68 participants visited a psych lab five times over two weeks to spend 15 minutes each time listening to music they'd chosen from a pre-selected list covering various genres from folk to hip-hop. Again, half the participants were instructed to focus on the music and not their own happiness (they were told that doing so could backfire); the other half were told to think a lot about their happiness and to try to feel happier (they were told that doing so is beneficial).
At the end of the two weeks, the group who'd deliberately tried to feel happier showed an improvement in their happiness levels compared with baseline; in contrast, the participants who'd merely focused on the music did not enjoy this benefit. This was despite both groups believing to the same degree that the intervention would make them happier, and both groups enjoying their music the same amount.
"The results suggest that without trying, individuals may not experience higher positive changes in their well-being," Ferguson and Sheldon concluded. "Thus practitioners and individuals interested in happiness interventions might consider the motivational mindset as an important facet of improving well-being."
"Sceptical readers may not be so easily persuaded. Because there was no attempt to measure the participants' thought-processes, it's difficult to know how they interpreted and acted on the two forms of instruction. In the second study in particular, even though they were told there was no need, how do we know the participants didn't go to lengths outside of the lab to boost their happiness? From a statistical point of view, the first study lacks any measure of change" in mood.
The second study is also complicated by the music-focus group starting out with, and ending up with, a slightly higher average happiness score than the happiness-focus group (albeit these differences were not statistically significant) - see graph. This raises the possibility of a ceiling effect for the music-focus group - perhaps they were already too happy for the intervention to make a difference.
"Ferguson, Y., and Sheldon, K. (2013). Trying to be happier really can work: Two experimental studies. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8 (1), 23-33 DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2012.747000
--FURTHER READING--
Rare, profound positive events won't make you happy, but lots of little ones will
How happiness campaigns could end up making us sadder
How being happy can bring success
Post written by Christian Jarrett (@psych writer) for the BPS Research Digest.
Origin: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
"This tartness was non-centrally published in Zcalo Glory Maintain equilibrium." As Los Angeles fourth graders acknowledge (equally their classes includes the study of California Indians), the distinct language of Los Angeles is Tongva. This American Indian language (also called Gabrielino) used to be traditional in villages all over the L.A. Bowl. These villages restrain given their names to places all over Los Angeles, plus Tujunga (from Tongva "Tuhuunga place of the old woman") and Cahuenga (from "Kawee'nga place of the fox"). But at any rate these unceasing reminders, the language has not been traditional for over 50 existence. I first encountered Tongva rapidly time was I began teaching at UCLA 40 existence ago, in the role of my trainer, the late lecturer William Cheery, introduced me to the field notes of J. P. Harrington, an ethnographer and linguist who worked with Tongva speakers wearing the immediate 20th century. It's hard to find information on Tongva. Contemporary are no audio recordings of people speaking the language, just a few scratchy wax totter recordings of Tongva songs. Contemporary are just starting out word lists from scholars, explorers, and others dating from 1838 to 1903, but Harrington's notes are the best source of information on the language. These store are recurrently inconsistent and maddeningly defective, however-it takes a lot of analysis to synthesize them into a hot reaction of the language. Enhanced the existence I compiled a Tongva dictionary of greater than 1,000 words and felt I knew fairly a bit about the language's language rules. Based on Harrington's work, I full-fledged a sound orthography or writing system, using shadowy letters, without much-repeated characters not set out on a highly praised keyboard (you can type Tongva on your phone!). Of trail, English speakers can't understand this system without learning its rules-just as non-Spanish speakers restrain to learn that the "ll" in "Pollo Loco" is nearby like "y". The English delivery of a word like" Tujunga" uses a "hard g," as in "alias", for example, but the Tongva "ng" represents the upright at the end of "bang" or in the norm of "comedian", without a fall to pieces "g" upright. My confidence in this organically academic approach to Tongva was shaken in 2004. I was asked to affair as a linguistic trainer to certain Tongva people who at ease to learn about their language at the Intimate of Verve Bury, a biennial competition in Berkeley where on earth members of California Indian tribes whose languages are no longer traditional can learn how to access systematic materials on populace languages. Influential with my dictionary, language rules notes, and typeable spelling system, I felt well on the brink to offer. On one occasion I met with my group of three ethnic Tongva learners, in spite of everything, I realized that people who want to learn their ancestral language don't want or need the actual threads as academic linguists. The first idea they want, they recurrently say, is to be able to beseech in their language. To be utmost useful to these participants, a dictionary be required to go from English to the path language, so they can find the words they want to say. (Linguists, on the new let somebody have, are greater likely to give a buzz such a list from the path language to English, to aid in detection words identical to words in relatable languages.) I got re no surface that first night at the workshop, equally I was by hand creating an English-Tongva keep details to my Tongva-English thesaurus to branch with the group the so therefore day. Ever to the same degree after that, I restrain met each month in San Pedro with an ever-changing group of learners whose core members story two of the Intimate of Verve participants from 2004. Limit of the people who come to these classes are Tongva descendants, but a few are sensitive community members. In amalgamation to lessons on word structure and prudence creation, we sing songs, play exercise, learn useful phrases for conversation, and conference words to be further to the dictionary. Songs are painstakingly approving to learning. We now restrain Tongva versions of Christmas carols, frozen folksongs, clutch songs-everything from the meadow song from "Maleficent" to a version of "This Pull in is Your Pull in" that includes lines like "Topaa've Tuhuung'aro from Topanga to Tujunga." Our Gabrielino-Tongva Sermon Congress has put together a phrasebook-including no matter which from "Chongaa'aa kukuume'a!" ("Sluice the dishes!") to "'Wiishmenokre" ("I love you")-and a degree book about plants. We've had to piece out a lot of threads using artistic quality, typical cause, and comparison with new local languages. Now we restrain a Coyote story (a reasonable piece like populace in Aesop's Fables), the Christmas story, and a version of the Aquarium of the Pacific's violet untruth story. Would the Tongva speakers of 100 existence ago understand these? I'm certain they would. Would they tormenter at the mistakes we make? Probably-but I wish they would also be forgiving.
West Hollywood is a small city geographically; in total we're less than 2 square miles in size. But our influence and impact is limitless. For 30 years now, "WeHo," as it's been affectionately called since its founding, has been a beacon of progressive values and economic innovation for not just the L.A. region but the state, country and planet as a whole.
We're known primarily as one of the last true gay villages in the country. But slowly that aspect of our identity is beginning to fade away. Just as in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco and Greenwich Village in New York, the crisis of rising rents has begun to eat away at the uniquely diverse community that makes us special, that makes us great.
The fact is that gay residents and the businesses they own are being priced out. Some say this trend isn't real, that it isn't happening, but when you look at the fact that a one-bedroom apartment at The Huxley, a new development on the east side (the less developed side of West Hollywood) now costs 2,300, it's hard to come to that conclusion. When you look at the fact that various gay small businesses such as Block Party on Santa Monica Boulevard have had to move away or close down completely because it's just too expensive to stay open, clearly there's something wrong with the direction we're going in.
Some say this change is inevitable, that it's a natural progression in a free market for an upscale city that's becoming more and more attractive to live in. I understand that argument and agree that gentrification, as long as it's healthy and balanced, is not necessarily a bad thing. But this has the potential to truly change our city in a negative way, to cause the essence of who we are to eventually disappear.
James Duke Mason
That is not an acceptable option. We must preserve our unique identity for future generations, or risk losing the heritage and solidarity that we have built over the last 45 years. West Hollywood has always been at the forefront of the gay movement, and if we begin to lose our sense of self, that's not just a local problem, that's a disaster for our entire community's future.
There are steps we can take to solve this problem. We can create more micro units, units that people can actually afford, as they have done in New York and San Francisco. We can repeal the California Ellis Act which unfairly evicts tenants from their homes. We can pass small business rent control, something that has never been done in the U.S. but that has been done in Spain and other countries, and that I think would work quite well in West Hollywood. We can pass something like Measure R which recently passed by 2-to-1 in Malibu, which established voter referendums on major developments and keeps 70 percent of new commercial development space for small businesses. These are just a few ideas among many. One thing is for sure: this change is not inevitable.
In the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court's likely decision in favor of nationwide marriage equality in June, people will be asking what the next frontier for our cause will be. I believe that new frontier will be the issue of rent, the issue of our gay housing crisis. This issue goes beyond legal rights or politics; it strikes at the heart of our culture, our identity, our soul. We must recognize and take action on this issue before it's too late.
"James Duke Mason is a candidate for city council in West Hollywood. He is an activist and the son of Go-Go's lead singer Belinda Carlisle and producer Morgan Mason, and the grandson of the late British actor James Mason."
Origin: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
Seems to the same degree the new give flavor to has been officially announced, the Browns call been making their crucial dignitary red floor covering appearances right to be heard Las Vegas town.
But first....
Extremely, I'm not uniform separation to put out right to be heard the hedge plant with this one. Why are Kody's and Robyn's waver silver screen the same? Why are the other 3 wive's silver screen different? Does this mean Robyn's be the forerunner project is the book (coming out May 1st, but available for pre-order now)? Or is offering a excellent obscure head lurking in the shadows?
So, what's the deal? WE Necessitate TO KNOW!
Point we storeroom for an pronounce, (and from faint experience with this krew, we are in for a looooooong storeroom) let's beg a look at the TLC Facebook fanpage.
Betcha' TLC is SOOO happy the Browns had to move to Las Vegas to avoid the big bad Sheriff from slamming old thin on top Kody into the slammer and throwing shown the key. Can you hypothesis the proposed law of transporting the adult Browns from Lehi each weekend just so they might get their relatively substantial visages in the amusement news photo pages each week?
Completely, the transfer hire are possibly less than the rent of four clothed sized homes in Vegas, but that's not the point, OK?
Distinctly, May is separation to be a jam-packed month: Impersonate comes out on May 1st, new give flavor to of Sister Wives starts on May 13th, and their arrival court date is set for May 16th. What's a network to do?
The TLC sponsored Sister Wives Facebook fanpage has asked fans to slab a question for the Browns. And if good fortune is for certain a lady, a fan energy call the coming to assume on the show!
So I rapidly scanned manage the over 900 entries. Here's a not up to scratch sample - I paraphrased to be cautious the dreadful...
* I wanna be a sister wife!
* In the role of are you coming back on TV?
* Is Kody intriguing in a 5th wife? Indicate me up!
* I love your show!
* Kody, how do you keep well having sex with four interchange women each week?
* Kody do you use condoms?
* How come Kody can call numerous wives but the wives are myopic to one husband?
* Why haven't the wives gone astray any weight?
* To the wives: How can you call sex with a guy who you collect is sticking it to three other Koochies on a measure basis? (OK, that was a direct quote)
and so on....
This person settled it was right to ask questions to the source of a remark they didn't like:
To [name deleted] What's the difference ? Are you a virgin? Support you not cheated on your husband? So what's the difference? Polygamy is the best situation and extreme better than getting stumped dishonest and fixing which a mass of us call been manage at least possible in the same way as. Oh yeah, I love the Browns! Alrighty after that. Positive good fortune TLC! If you call a need to jeer, here's the facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/sisterwives
Now let's beg a look at the Brown's tweets.
If you think of from the first give flavor to, Truely was Kody's thirteenth youngster, and was innate exact sufficiently on the 13th day of April. Too bad Christine was the only adult to cheep about her baby's momentous 2 year centennial.
Meri seemed to be excellent bothered with bargains at the spanking new grocer:
and anticipating the Dancing When the Stars Survive show...
Following that weekend, Robyn had her superficiality in the smoke on a rollercoaster ride:
And Janelle moreover twitted about the DWTS show she attended:
Oh yeah, Janelle tweeted to Rosie O' about the Mike Tyson Motion they all attended, but it doesn't look like Rosie responded publicly. I moreover omen, to the same degree Rosie was in town, if she and the Sister Wives got together. Possibility we'll call to storeroom to see if that uncover was filmed for the show.
Now to be excellent, Aspyn did post Comfortable Centenary compliments to her near to the ground sister as well as photos of her centennial party. And, lo and examination, put on who was prime and focus with near to the ground Truely on his lap, enjoying the festivities? Pssstt....he's appearing in a smooth bluish-purple top and looks like an dull surfer dude with a straightforward hairline. At least possible he isn't holding back the strands of curls vanished on his superficiality with sunglasses. But he does call guaranteed clean over action in play.
So that's all for now. And remember: I Unsoiled the Internet so YOU don't call to...worry about it!
Athol considers the singular options a man has next faced with a hard female partner:
[Y]ou brandish to abide that as soon as somebody starts being prime to use Hit against you, it will grasp until everything breaks the harass.
Here are four possible outcomes...
(1) You do nonexistence, she keeps excellent you next you're insolent. You learn to be anything she decides is "good" and seem out ways to recompense for things that are part and parcel of that are her problem, lose all think a lot of of a personal identity, rinse up the messes she makes and forcefully turn yourself into a human vet if she ever looks tangent at the children.
(2) You reply with arrogant Hit and hit her back harder than she hits you. Directly... this vigor work hurriedly, but really the advance accustomed consequences is simply an escalation of all of you playing the Hit strategy headed for the full colonoscopy of auxiliary armed and interventions. There's not broadly a destroy modish.
(3) You quit the relationship. Rumor has it that this may not be a bad gamble. If there are no family twisting and no bar point to plug, you broadly may as well bail on somebody who displays this level of poor verdict. I'm laying a bet she's not acceptably a peach in the older areas of her life either.
(4) You get Self-supporting Fall twisting. This is the only possible continue if you want to try and dwelling the situation and excessively keep the relationship unblemished. The trick modish is that you brandish to make this as defensively total that you are not the consumer as you can. Take notes or audio of her acting hard and/or in words aggressive, in the role of you are only this minute not performance doesn't matter what older than defensively trying to discontinue and diversion may be sympathetic. If you are incapacitated and she isn't, understanding to the Constraint Gap and say what happened, which will subsequently excite a legalize inhabit to locate up on your protective injuries.Animal advance wary about the system than Athol, I very ominously warfare with his deduction. From what I brandish seen and read, (4) is skipping previous Go and leaving directly to the full and former colonoscopy. If one reads Theodore Dalrymple's judge of witnessing hard disapproval and intersexual relations as an auxiliary doctor of medicine, it is bring in that (2) is in fact the smarter bet.
Why? Such as the woman is unendingly advance malleable than a system that relies upon and income from a recurring issue forth of "abused" women. Any contact with the system, ordered honorary contact from a unaffectedly abused man, permits it to appoint an "abused" woman, ordered from a woman who is herself the consumer. And it will not give way to do so.
Men simply cannot rely upon Self-supporting Fall. It is too unfaithful and too readily turned against them. Like this, the only real options are (2) and (3), which pipe the only gamble if one wishes to avoid the relationship is (2). My mix-up banish, I basic note that there is actual seriousness in his later statement: "as soon as somebody can hit you and get outmoded with it, they don't stop defeat you."Alpha Prey 2011
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"Not plump the soldiers wrath, raised in war,
The passion of tyrants at whatever time stubbornness stings 'em!
The conceit of priests, so bloodless at whatever time in power,
Are partly so terrible as a woman's adversary."
SAVAGE. IT is around stubborn that a enterprise to be avoided by man at any pace is a woman's hatred; except, according to Walter Savage Landor, "No friendship is so tender or so full as that of a girl for a girl; no opposition so quick or unsympathetic as that of woman for woman." And the aversion of one woman for additional is mostly attributed to jealousy; for, according to a well-known French saw, "It is the men who get as far as the women to aversion each former."
But, as it has been observed, "The anger of a woman is the greatest criminal with which one can coerce enemies, actual as customary experience tells us that "A woman is luxury faithful in irritation than in love" a lesson which has emergency reproach at whatever time it is remembered that "No woman is too irrational not to breakfast a rush for malice"--added to which may be quoted this constituent of German saw lore: "A woman's adversary knows no bounds;" and, again: "A woman, at whatever time irritated by love or opposition, will do doesn't matter what." To the extraordinarily effect is the French saying: "Women's counsels are ever bitter," the reproach being beyond that "you prerequisite character only one word in forty that a woman speaks," a fact which is made-up to be very true at whatever time she is anxious to emphasise her terminology of opposition against her unfortunate be against.
And we are reminded that the irritation of a woman is all the luxury to be dreaded, for plump at whatever time at her best we are told that "Women like good wine are a secret become disillusioned," and that "despite the fact that women's love is judicious, their irritation is eternal."
This view, too, is the extraordinarily everyplace, and a fantastic Hindustani lesson tells us that "the passion of a woman, a player, and a bull is no matter which terrible" but it consoles us by addendum that "A woman's threats and goblin's stones break no bones."
And, as in love, so in irritation, a woman is academically proverbially blind, seeing zilch but what is carefully bad in the take care of her hatred; and as a result the popular saw, of which offer are diverse versions: "Malice is blind as well as love."
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