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I have heard a lot of talk about bullies. There have been many articles written about the subject in the past year. I know that a lot of terrible things have happened to young people that have been victims of bullying. There have been many lives lost to suicide brought on the abuse of bullies. There have been bullies actually physically committing murder and beating their victims almost to death. It is such a sad and terrible thing for children to endure and it needs to stop. I think that parents should talk to their children about being bullied and also how wrong it is to bully. Sometimes, not always, but in some instances it is learned behavior from their parents.
If you would have told me when I was younger like elementary school and in jr. high that adults could be bullies I wouldn't of believed you. Every child has a teacher or two that they don't like; it's a part of life. I don't think those teachers were bullies, I just think that I was a brat that didn't always like to follow their directions, do the homework whatever it was and I would get in trouble.
Growing up my parents were not the type of parents that would have friends they would fight with, or any enemies. I guess I was lucky, or something. I can't remember anytime there was "Drama" going on. It wasn't that it was hidden from me or happened when I wasn't paying attention, it just never happened. I know that my parents didn't get along always, that is why they are divorced but, they would usually keep it away from my sister and me. Probably because I was a very out spoken child who would of said something. My mom has never said a negative thing about my dad, not even today. My grandma Diana would say mean things about my mom, my Grandma Rose and even me. That is a whole other blog post for another time in the future.
I was always under the impression that once you got out of school the bullying would stop, because that is not what I was accustomed to. I didn't think that grown men and women would be that mean and cruel to others. I thought at some point people grew up and put the childish name calling behind them and the insults. I am sad and ashamed to say that I was wrong. It really makes me sick when people insult each other for the stupidest reasons. I think that any insult is uncalled for in any way or for any reason. It doesn't matter what differences that you have, where you come from, or what the problem is. I have always thought it was better to ignore the person and walk away. If you feel threatened go to the police, otherwise make contact with that person scarce if you cannot stay away completely. No one deserves to be bullied, no matter how old you are.
I am not sure why people feel like it is ok to bully someone. I don't really understand it. I am just really sad that it still goes on in adulthood. I am not sure if it is because they are a mean person or if they were bullied and now they are retaliating on anyone they can find. I have had toxic friends that were bullies to me. They were not physical bullies but emotional ones. I have had so called friends say horrible things to me or about me for no reason. Things would be fine and they would call me and say some ridiculous thing to me when I was mourning the loss of my Grandma Rose. I am no longer friends with those people. Really, I should have known better after receiving an email from this same person and then she had a bunch of people write awful hurtful things about me when we were in school. I should have known better. Do you ever look back in your life and think to yourself and thought that you wish you would have ended that friendship or relationship a long time ago. You wished that you never let it get to that point? I have now that I am older.
I have learned that not everyone is going to like me. That is fine, I guess, but people should be able to put their differences aside and co-exist without taking cheap shots. Besides the normal cuss words and name calling there are insults that are uncalled for. All of them are, but there are certain ones that are extra awful. I hate the R word. I hate when people use that as an insult or talk about "licking windows" or helmets. That is horrible. I am not talking about making fun of disabled people, I think most people know that is wrong, but when someone uses it as an insult. People are born different, and that is OK. We all have our challenges. Some people say it is a cultural thing to say it and that it doesn't mean that. I disagree politely, it does. It is labeling people and saying that is not acceptable.
Another thing that a lot of grown up bullies do is bring children in to it and insult their kids. Children are innocent. They should stay out of it. Something else is throwing insults about being on assistance. Some people need help with food, medical, even cash. In a perfect world, we would all be millionaires, but this isn't a perfect world unfortunately.
There is a saying that I am sure you all have heard many times. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." That is a true statement and a false one. Sure words won't leave physical bruises, but it will leave emotional bruises. Emotional bruises hurt for a long time. They are harder to forget. They don't heal like physical ones, which fade away. I know that people sometimes say not to worry about what other people think or say but really, it does hurt. I know people are purposely trying to hurt you, why else would they do it. It is hard not to be upset or hurt. Especially if it is someone you thought was your friend. It is hard to not. It's human to feel emotions and if someone says something about you, it hurts. Maybe I am just an emotional person. It is human nature to want to be accepted and loved.
In the beginning, the passion and romance you used to share within your marriage wash very high and everything was good. It was natural to give sentimental gifts or affection to exhibit to each other how much you care.
Sadly, after you feel comfortable inside your marriage that love and passion you are familiar with might fade and before you recognize it no longer exist. After this passion dies down within your relationship it regularly leaves the door open for marital complications to creep in.
When most married couples experience marital issues they panic and fear their marriage is going to come to an end in the form of divorce. However, a large amount of the time all that is required is to bring the love and passion back in your relationship.
You see, numerous married couples will get comfortable inside their relationship and forget about doing the minor things that made them fall in love in the first place. They soon stop spending intimate time with each other and they stop attempting to look their best.
It's time to bring back that love and passion within your relationship if you and your mate barely speak while you pass one another. The good news is, there are various simple things you can definitely do to return the romance inside your relationship.
One of the primary things you may do is think about the things you have done with your mate before the both of you were married. Take note of these things and ask yourself do you still do them. Try to locate creative ways to bring these things back inside your marriage.
The following thing you may do is cater to your mate's passion. Reflect on what it is your spouse has a passion for and make a unique occasion based on this.
For example, if your partner loves horses, take them on a romantic horseback ride. If they just want watching movies, rent a movie they'll love and create them a special dinner.
Keeping the romance and passion alive is highly eminent if you require to keep your marriage healthy. If you have ever asked yourself can I stop my divorce, the answer is yes.
If these 2 easy things do not help bring the romance back then there can be some hurt or resentment between you and your mate. If this is the case then you definitely need to take care of these complications first to bring to a halt your divorce.
You can definitely find something that can help you turn your marriage around for the better. When it comes to saving a marriage the Marriage Self Help methods you will discover on the next page can provide you with the advice and info you require to help the situation you're going through Click Here.
Source: mark-rayan-pua.blogspot.com
SCRIPTURES TO HELP WITH MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
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SCRIPTURES TO HELP WITH MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
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SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS
"If Your Marriage Is In Trouble Than You Need To Visit Save My Marriage. Helped Thousands of Couples Turn Around Their Marriages and Create Greater Happiness and Love."
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS
"Save My Marriage"
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SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT BEGINS
SAVE MY MARRIAGE
If Your Marriage Is In Trouble Than You Need To Visit Save My Marriage. Helped Thousands of Couples Turn Around Their Marriages and Create Greater Happiness and Love.
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"Happiness is as a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you"." (Nathaniel Hawthorne)A key question for people hoping to improve their well-being is whether it is counter-productive to focus too hard on the end goal of being happier. Philosophers like John Stuart Mill have proposed that it is - he wrote that happiness comes to those who "have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness." A pertinent study published in 2003 by Jonathan Schooler and his colleagues (pdf) supported this idea: participants who listened to music with the intention of feeling happier actually ended up feeling less happy than others who merely listened to the music with no happiness goal.
But now a new study has come along which purports to show that trying deliberately to be happier is beneficial after all. Yuna Ferguson and Kennon Sheldon criticise the Schooler study on the basis that the music used - Stravinsky's Rite of Spring - is not conducive to happiness, and that's why it interfered with deliberate attempts to feel happier.
Ferguson and Sheldon had 167 participants spend 12 minutes listening either to Rite of Spring or an upbeat section from Rodeo by Copland. Crucially, half the participants were instructed to relax and observe their natural reactions to the music. "It is important that you do not try to consciously improve your mood," they were told. The other participants received the opposite instructions - "really focus on improving your mood".
Afterwards, two measures of mood were taken - one based on six words like "joyful"; the other a continuous measure of positive feelings. The participants who'd listened to the cheery music, "and" simultaneously tried to improve their mood, reported feeling in a more positive mood than the participants who'd merely listened to the upbeat music, and the participants who'd listened to the down-beat music, whether they strived to feel happier or not. This was despite the fact that the groups did not differ in how much they'd enjoyed the activity, or how "pressured" they'd felt to complete it.
A second study was similar, but this time 68 participants visited a psych lab five times over two weeks to spend 15 minutes each time listening to music they'd chosen from a pre-selected list covering various genres from folk to hip-hop. Again, half the participants were instructed to focus on the music and not their own happiness (they were told that doing so could backfire); the other half were told to think a lot about their happiness and to try to feel happier (they were told that doing so is beneficial).
At the end of the two weeks, the group who'd deliberately tried to feel happier showed an improvement in their happiness levels compared with baseline; in contrast, the participants who'd merely focused on the music did not enjoy this benefit. This was despite both groups believing to the same degree that the intervention would make them happier, and both groups enjoying their music the same amount.
"The results suggest that without trying, individuals may not experience higher positive changes in their well-being," Ferguson and Sheldon concluded. "Thus practitioners and individuals interested in happiness interventions might consider the motivational mindset as an important facet of improving well-being."
"Sceptical readers may not be so easily persuaded. Because there was no attempt to measure the participants' thought-processes, it's difficult to know how they interpreted and acted on the two forms of instruction. In the second study in particular, even though they were told there was no need, how do we know the participants didn't go to lengths outside of the lab to boost their happiness? From a statistical point of view, the first study lacks any measure of change" in mood.
The second study is also complicated by the music-focus group starting out with, and ending up with, a slightly higher average happiness score than the happiness-focus group (albeit these differences were not statistically significant) - see graph. This raises the possibility of a ceiling effect for the music-focus group - perhaps they were already too happy for the intervention to make a difference.
"Ferguson, Y., and Sheldon, K. (2013). Trying to be happier really can work: Two experimental studies. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8 (1), 23-33 DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2012.747000
--FURTHER READING--
Rare, profound positive events won't make you happy, but lots of little ones will
How happiness campaigns could end up making us sadder
How being happy can bring success
Post written by Christian Jarrett (@psych writer) for the BPS Research Digest.
Origin: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE WORKSHOP
"If Your Marriage Is In Trouble Than You Need To Visit Save My Marriage. Helped Thousands of Couples Turn Around Their Marriages and Create Greater Happiness and Love."
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE WORKSHOP
"Save My Marriage"
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE WORKSHOP
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SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE WORKSHOP
SAVE MY MARRIAGE
If Your Marriage Is In Trouble Than You Need To Visit Save My Marriage. Helped Thousands of Couples Turn Around Their Marriages and Create Greater Happiness and Love.
"SAVE MY MARRIAGE" How To Spice Up My Marriage While Pregnant Major Depression Forum Herbal Remedies For Chronic Depression Free Online Speech Therapy For Adults How To Save An Unfaithful Marriage Funny Advice For Newlyweds On Marriage Early Warning Signs Of Mania Or Depression Marriage Counseling Ventura Ca Nj Consumer Affairs Marriage And Family Therapy Free Marriage Counseling Edmonton Veterans Affairs Mn Dr Phil Marriage House Bipolar Depression Hallucinations Ways To Save Our Marriage Free Marital Settlement Agreement California Free Couples Counseling El Paso Tx Symptoms Of Depression In Women Over 40 Types Of Marriage Rings Tips For Women Having An Affair Free Online Massage Therapy Training How Can You Tell If He Is Having An Affair How To Fix A Dysfunctional Relationship Symptoms Of Depression In Men Over 30 Marriage Separation Advice Australia Save My Marriage Today Waterman Love But No Chemistry Free Online Marriage Horoscope Compatibility What Is The Meaning Of Love Hurts By Incubus Marital Advice Quotes For Women Treatment For Depression New York.
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In many African cultures it has become the norm for couples to have two wedding ceremonies: the traditional ceremony and the civil/religious one (often known as the white wedding because of the western-style white dress worn by the bride). These traditional ceremonies differ in various cultures, although all of them include the extended families of the bride and groom and often a bride price. We take a look at various wedding customs from around the continent.
IN IGBO LANDThe Igbo wedding ceremony is widely known as 'Igba Nkwu Nwanyi' - which loosely translated means the Wine Carrying. According to Igbo wedding traditions, prospective grooms are expected to provide a generous dowry to the bride's family ahead of the wedding. The dowry is stipulated by the bride's extended family. On the day the bride is accompanied by other unmarried women.
IN YORUBA LAND
Yoruba couples wear Aso-Ebi on their wedding days. Aso-Ebi is the name given to traditional Yoruba garments worn by the bride and groom and their parties, the parties will all be dressed in the same colours and traditional fabrics. Yoruba weddings feature an Ijoko (a sort of Master of Ceremonies) who is usually a woman. She will generally introduce the bride and groom's families to each other formally and will encourage the groom and his friends to prostrate themselves before the bride. She also coordinates the payment of the dowry.
IN HAUSA LAND
The Hausa cultural marriage is based mostly on the Islamic marriage, starting from introduction to wedding proper. Unlike other cultures, the introductory part of the Hausa marriage is brief, not time consuming, and less expensive. When a man sees the girl of his choice he first seek for permission from her parents, after which the girls parents will have to make some kind of investigation about the man regarding his background, moral ethics and of course his religious believes, before he is allowed to see the girl only when found eligible. According to the Hausa tradition, the man is not allowed to spend a long time in seeing the girl and this is done to avoid any physical and or romantic contact, courtship before marriage is not encouraged in the Hausa tradition. Once the girl accepts the offer, the man sends his parents or guardians to formally seek for the girl's hand in marriage.
Seeking for the girl's hand in marriage varies amongst the Hausa people, as earlier mentioned, there are other ethnic groups having different modes of marriage introduction, nevertheless the most common method used includes, grooms parents or guardians visiting the girl's parents with certain gift items, i.e kolanuts, candies and chocolates and in some cases bags of salt. During this visit which is an occasion on its own, the groom's make their intention known thereby introducing the boy, his background and profile, the bride price or dowry is made through bargain starting from the minimum of what the Hausas called "Rubu Dinar", its an Arabic phrase translated as "quarter kilogram of a gold piece" to the highest amount the man can afford. The wedding date is also set which is agreed upon by both sides. Bride price or dowries are preferred not to be very high or expensive, it is part of the teachings of Islam that the less amount paid as bride price or dowry produce the most blessed marriage.
IN AHANTI
In the Ashanti wedding tradition, the groom and the male members of his family will visit the bride's male family members and knock on the door. It is customary for the groom's party to be kept waiting for a while before they are allowed in. Thereafter the two sets of male family members will negotiate a bride price before the bride and the female family members are allowed to enter. Some families will present the groom with decoy brides before the real bride makes her appearance. The bride must then formally accept the groom and his gifts and then the couple are blessed and the reception party can begin.
IN KENYA AND TANZANIAThe Luo of Kenya and Tanzania call their traditional marriage, which allows a groom to take multiple wives, Ayie. The custom, like many other traditional marriage customs, is concerned with the bride price primarily. Among the Luo the mother of the bride plays a key role - as it is her who accepts the bride price and allows the ceremony to go forward. There is then a second ceremony where the groom must give cattle to the bride's father.
Origin: gamma-male.blogspot.com
