How You Can Build A United Family

Building a united family starts with the understanding that a wholesome family is the strength of society. Any man or woman who destroys the family has destroyed civilization. The home is where kindness, loyalty and love begins. It is where we find purpose. It is the smallest unit of the larger society. There is no place like home. Our children should be taught to spend more time at home than with the neighbors or friends. A united family is a united society. A united family impacts on the lives of it's children.

HOW TO BUILD A UNITED FAMILY:

* Be committed to the family unit: Not lip commitment, but commitment that has to do with sacrifices of our comfort, finances, time, energy, leisure and other things that matter to us for our families. What we sow is what we will reap. When you are committed to your family, it's obvious, the family gives back by being more interested in you as an individual and also sacrificing for your sake.

* Spend Quality Time with the family: It is very important to make ourselves available. Our schedules are becoming increasingly busy. Finding time for the family is becoming more and more difficult. We have to consciously create time for the family. Even when there is nothing to talk about or do together, just being available, availing members of the family of your presence is very important to the family. When we start seeing less of someone, their presence begin to gradually fade from our memories. When our family members see less of us all the time, they begin to miss us less. Naturally, we tend to make more use of what is always readily available. The child that is always around you gets to assists more when you need some help because it is easy to just call on the person close by and get help rather than search for what is not easily available. If you can, try as much as possible to spend quality time with the family. It may be on weekends that you decide to put away personal programs and attend fully to the family by organizing or planning activities that include every member of the family.

* Communicate Wisely: The major cause of parent teen conflict is communication breakdown. Our children are never too young to start spending time with. Take time to enjoy the family. Rather than look for opportunities to get away from the family, let us find fun ways we can spend time together. Plan activities that we can share with family members of all ages. Rather than avoid the kids fights by spending time else where, let us find a way to make family time fun and interesting. Playing board games together and other indoor activities will help the family to bond much more than just sitting and watching Television. Find activities that kids enjoy and be part of the fun even if it is once or twice a week. Kids enjoy it more when they beat a parent in a game.

* Express appreciation for each family member. One of my girls is leaving for boarding school this September. When I am with her, other kids will be around so I started looking for a time when it will just be me and her. I was cooking dinner and she happened to be the only one with me in the kitchen. I quickly grabbed that opportunity to appreciate her verbally. Telling her how good she has been to me as her mother, expressing my love for her and how we are going to miss her. Having this moment alone with her did a lot to our relationship. The look in her eyes showed that she felt special. She is very fast, and always ready to run along when you need some one to go on an errand. I told her much about her great qualities. I thanked her for being so caring and good to her sisters. She told me later that she enjoyed that mother daughter time in the kitchen.

* Have Regular Family Meetings: It may not be possible to meet often. It can be fixed so that before that day, every family member is ready and looking forward to it. It may be on the last Saturday of every month or once every quarter of the year or just twice a year. The family sits together, with the agenda, talk about how to make the family better, talk about things that should be upheld, talk about challenges in the family and how they can be overcome. This is a perfect opportunity for each member to express their highlights and low lights, ans find solutions to issues affecting the family and ways to move the family forward. Family meetings should not be reduced to a complaining forum. It should not be depressing whereby people only talk about their hurts. It should be uplifting and Parents should ensure that everyone has freedom of expression and no one is bullied.

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