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ONLINE DATING TIPS MEN PROFILE
Dating Advice For Men
Fortunately that is not the case. When women give compliance tests they really do want you to pass them. It is their way of filtering out a truly confident attractive guy from the rest. It may sound strange but beautiful women honestly cant just look at a guy an say "hes good looking therefore hes attractive." They need much more because they are approached by so many different types of guys. A really attractive girl will get hit on 10-15 times A DAY....
Origin: pickup-and-love.blogspot.com
"I had a five minute hypnosis session with Christopher Bartow for the matter of dog allergies. I have been thinking whether or not this has worked. For the last two weeks I have been fostering dogs with no allergic reaction, I have concluded that my allergies to dogs have been cured! If you are skeptical of hypnosis then you should try it. If you don't think this exists, try it for yourself. It's not the Hypnotist doing anything, it's how you go about in your own consciousness. It's extremely hard to explain but if you have allergies, depression, addiction etc Just try a session with Ellensburg Hypnosis and see if it works for you. This is not voodoo or anything like it. Try it for yourself, if my allergies were cured in five minutes, imagine what could happen in an hour!" Jonathan Arthur"
In fact, this was just the NLP allergy cure.
Reference: gamma-male.blogspot.com
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Here is a study on the 'GOLDEN RATIO' that determines the facial beauty of a woman.
Conducted by the researchers of University of California and the University of Toronto, the study has drawn its conclusions from the opinions given by people.
We have a complete book on ANGA SASTRA in India developed by astrologer- rishis for the ideal features for men and women from head to toe. I don't know what methodology they used for arriving at their conclusions. But they have connected the features to some predictions about the life and future. Anga sastra for both men and women therefore is part of predictive astrology.
SOMETIME AGO WE SAW A SIMILAR STUDY DONE BY WESTERNERS ON MEN - CONNECTING THE SQUARE FACE OF MEN TO AGGRESSIVENESS. IN THAT CONTEXT I GAVE SOME OUTLINES OF ANGA SASTRA FOR MEN IN MY POST FACE SHOWS THE CHARACTER OF MEN?
In this post, I don't want to delve into the entire sastra for women but confine myself with some interesting points on face and marks on face of women.
The facial lakshana for women given in anga sastra is slightly different from what these researchers have found out.
Facial sastra says that THE IDEAL FEMALE FACE HAS 3 EQUAL DIVISIONS - the length of the forehead must be equal to the length of the nose which must be equal to the length from the tip of the nose to the end of the chin.
The BEAUTIFUL EYEBROW is that which is curved like a bow. We find comparison of eyebrow of women to a bow in many old texts. Or it must be like crescent moon.
THE FOREHEAD must be like half moon.
Speaking on MOLES AND MARKS ON THE FACE, it is said that a mole in the centre of the forehead will get a woman married to a rich person.
Similar is the prediction for one who has a mole at the tip of the nose.
If there is a mole on the left cheek, such a woman will be a contended woman. She will enjoy good food also.
Generally it is lucky to have moles in the left side of the body for women.
Connecting the facial feature to HOROSCOPIC INDICATIONS, the first house indicates the face the looks of a person. For a woman to have the above said features of sanga sastra, the lagna must be one lorded or occupied by Venus. Benefics in Lagna makes one look beautiful. The lagna Drekkana falling in benefic houses also makes one look beautiful.
- jayasree
From
http://www.dc-epaper.com/DC/DCC/2009/12/18/ArticleHtmls/18 12 2009 013 011.shtml?Mode=0#
NEW `GOLDEN RATIOS FOR FEMALE FACIAL BEAUTY
It is said that beautiful eyes make a woman attractive but according to a study distance between them and the mouth also hold the key to her looks. According to researchers from the University of California and the University of Toronto, the distance between a womans two eyes and between her eyes and mouth are key factors in determining how attractive she is to others.
Pamela Pallett and Stephen Link of UC San Diego and Kang Lee of the University of Toronto tested the existence of an ideal facial feature arrangement and successfully identified the optimal relation between the eyes, the mouth and the edge of the face for individual beauty.
In four separate experiments, the team asked university students to make paired comparisons of attractiveness between female faces with identical facial features but different eye-mouth distances and different distances between the eyes.
They discovered two "golden ratios," one for length and one for width.
Female faces were judged more attractive when the vertical distance between their eyes and the mouth was approximately 36 per cent of the faces length, and the horizontal distance between their eyes was approximately 46 per cent of the faces width. Interestingly, these proportions correspond with those of an average face, the journal Vision Research said.
"The Greeks found what they believed was a `golden ratio - also known as `phi or the `divine proportion - and used it in their architecture and art," Pallett said.
Get back with your ex
There are no set in stone ways to stop divorces from happening. They happen all the time and some of them for good reason. But, there are ways to minimize the stress involved with them. Divorce is difficult for both of you and decreasing tension and stress is very important to getting the whole thing settled amicably.
First, just to let the dust settle, get some distance from each other. This will let things like anger and hurt subside and maybe let you both see things objectively. For the first couple of weeks do not have any contact unless absolutely necessary. Let cooler heads prevail so the next time the two of you meet up then you can have a civilized conversation.
At this time you can tell each other you still love each other but really, in the grand scheme of things that really is a mute point. Sometimes the "I love you's" really do not mean all they should but if you want to throw one in there every now and then I guess it can't hurt.
If you do let cooler heads prevail and then want to get serious about talking about how to stop divorces devastating, hurtful effects then do so. But, do it in a quiet setting that is conducive to keeping things calm so you can both remain rational and sane about what you really want to do.
Click to get your ex back
Maybe it would help to keep a tally of each others reasons, like pros and cons, for staying married or getting divorced. These things, written down in black and white will help you both see where the problems lie and maybe even how they can be fixed. Not that it is the do all, end all but without all the BS between you, you might just be able to see that it is a relatively easy fix.
After sitting down together, if things are still up in the air, it might behoove you both to agree to get some outside counseling. Do not make the mistake of running separately to family members or even mutual friends. They will feel like they are supposed to choose between you and they also will impart on you their opinions of the situation which could possibly widen the gap between you. Find an impartial professional to help you sort things out.
A good counselor will encourage communication and help you learn how to be a couple. I think that is the biggest problem among married people who end up getting divorced. They never learned to be a couple and manage their lives together. Human beings are inherently selfish and one wrong slight can set you firmly on the path of becoming even more selfish and looking out for yourself instead of what is best for you both as a couple. Honesty, communication and striving to always improve what you have is essential in keeping what you have. A marriage, like anything worth having, is a work in progress.
If you do not want your marriage to become a statistic then put all your energy into repairing it so you can stop divorces destruction.
6 tips to help your ex to fall back in love with you
How to get Your Wife Back After a Breakup or Divorce
Origin: art-of-pickup.blogspot.com
Flowers have long been used to convey our innermost feelings. Say it with flowers and you have a good chance of declaring your undying love and devotion to the woman or man of your dreams. These days it is common to gift flowers for Valentine's day, birthdays or anniversaries.
But who says we only have to gift flowers for obvious occasions. Instead surprise your dream date/partner with flowers when they least expect it. In additon, be different. Don't keep giving the same flowers - be unique! Here is the message you are sending based on the color and type of flower you choose.
* Roses
Roses come in many variations and colors. They are a popular choice for stating your romantic feelings and you'd have to be hard-pressed to find a woman who doesn't like to be romanced with roses. But a rose ain't a rose unless you decipher the meaning of its color.
* Red: Red roses are the universal language of love. It states "I love you" if given to your lady. It also speaks of desire and passion.
* White: White roses declare your eternal love for the girl of your dreams. They also convey the message that she is worthy, showing her your respect as an equal. If your love is pure then white roses are a great gift for the woman of your dreams.
* Yellow: Yellow roses are associated with jealousy and friendship. In the end the meaning is conveyed through the context in which you gift the rose to a woman.
* Red ">Pink: Pink roses are the sign of happiness.
* Carnations
Carnations are most likely a second choice to roses in the context of love. They are a popular flower for bouquets and ideally mixed with other colors and flowers to make an attractive and meaningful combination.
* Red: Red carnations are given for love. They also speak of passion and courage.
* Pink: Pink carnations denote a show of confidence and thankfulness. These flowers are more gentle and low-key to the obvious red.
* White: White carnations are often chosen in context with purity and spirituality. If your love is pure, strong and secure then these flowers are a good choice.
* Peach: Peach carnations show your devotion, your desire for the woman of your dreams.
* Yellow: Yellow carnations are often given to invoke friendship, joy and happiness.
* Purple: Purple carnations can be a sign of love at first sight or else they demonstrate your commitment to your girl.
* Bird Of Paradise (Strelitzia)
The Bird Of Paradise is a tropical flower originating in South Africa. We have come to associate its beauty with uniqueness and rarity. Just like the Strelitzia is unique in its appereance, by gifting this flower to a woman you celebrate her uniqueness in the world.
* Orchids
Orchids are mystical and exquisite. If you want to show the woman of your dreams just how special she is, then give her orchids. You can choose from around 20,000 variations of orchids. Expect to dig deep into your pockets though as orchids are certainly not cheap.
* Lily
Lilies are a wonderful, stately flower and often given in reverie. They carry a mysterious air and go beyond the usual flowers of choice when it comes to matters of the heart. If you want to be a little more sophisticated, then consider giving a lily or a whole bunch of them to your lover. Lilies are not just associated with funerals, they can just as well be used to say "I love you" to that special person in your life.
* White: White Lilies declare unconditional love. You mean the world to your partner.
* Peruvian lilies: They represent devotion and friendship.
* Orange: The orange lily shows passion, desire.
* Yellow: Giving a yellow lily can demonstrate feelings of gay love.
Written on 7/5/2009 by Monika Mundell. Monika Mundell is a passionate freelance writer and pro-blogger. Her blog Freelance Writing helps new freelance writers to get started in this exciting industry. If you like to work with Monika, feel free to visit her Portfolio site.
Photo Credit: miss rogue
Do you have a bucket list? Here are 101 things to do before you die. Includes a tutorial on how you can create your bucket list too!
If nearly half of all married couples set about destroying something so valuable, can we honestly say that marriage is something so valuable?
This is, of course, a loaded question, because the cornerstone of marriage must be to create something better than the sum of the individual parts. If it doesn't serve that purpose, then there is no reason for a marriage to exist at all. However, developing and maintaining this type of relationship requires a life-long commitment and shouldn't be seen as "easy".
Any lasting relationship will have complexities and challenges; so the key to building an enduring partnership is your own willingness to work at it. Unfortunately, many couples go into a relationship with a misconception about what constitutes a lasting love. Too often the idea that "love will conquer all" is the position of couples considering marriage.
Here are some good reasons why you would wish to marry (or stay married) to someone:
YOU KNOW YOUR "REAL SELF" AND RESPECT YOUR PARTNER'S "REAL SELF".
We all have pseudo-selves that we display for different occasions; when we are at work, when we are in a social setting, when we are "on display", when we are trying to impress and so on. One factor in successful marriages is respecting your partner's "real self". Of course, the sub-note to this is that you must be aware of your real self to be "honest" to your partner. Without knowing your real self, you aren't in a position to give yourself fully to your partner.
YOU SHARE COMMON INTERESTS.
If married couples share common interests, it engenders closeness and mutual experiences. Most experts agree that couples don't have to share all their interests, but having enough of them encourages spending time together, which is a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Shared interests can be anything from spending time with children, travelling, sports, arts, theatre, reading and/or food; as long as they both appreciate something together, there is a good foundation for a lasting relationship.
YOU ARE GOOD AT WORKING OUT YOUR DIFFERENCES.
Research indicates that one common theme among long-lasting marriages involves an ability to work out conflict. It is inevitable that over a period of time, all relationships will witness conflicts. The couples that can talk out their differences, surmount the conflict, and agree on a compromise are the couples that will endure. On the other hand, the partners that trigger anger and resentment in one another or are unable to talk about their differences often can't sustain a marriage.
YOUR "VALUES" ARE ALIGNED.
A common mistake is to marry for what you want instead of what you need. For example, you may want a Brad Pitt or Anne Hathaway lookalike or someone who shares your love of Classical Music, but a solid marriage needs someone who is reliable, trustworthy, works hard, and meets your needs for a marriage to last. Somewhat paradoxically, many couples don't discuss their view of children and parenting before they marry, which is an area where "values" must be aligned if the relationship is going to endure.
YOUR "FUTURES" ARE COMPATIBLE.
Talking about your expectations of the future is one of the surest ways of making sure you're both on the same page and share common values that can sustain a marriage. Many couples don't talk about what they want from the future; such as whether they want to have kids, where they're going to live, what careers they want, whether they'll be a one or two career household. Some people have a romantic ideal of love and that things will work themselves out as long as they love each other enough, but this simply isn't the case. Therefore, the more you discuss your common visions for the future, the greater the chances the marriage will last.
So now that you have gone into a relationship with your eyes wide open and for the right reasons, the best time to learn relationship skills is at the beginning; committing to a process of growing together and accepting that a lasting marriage is a process that requires ongoing attention. That way you can spend the rest of your lives together putting into practice what you've learnt.
The benefits of investing in a relationship like this have been researched as far back as the 1980s, when studies showed that marriage is strongly associated with people living healthier lifestyles, living longer, acquiring greater financial earning capacity and enjoying improved mental health. It's as simple as this: good relationships are good for you. People in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthier, happier and satisfied with their lives and less likely to have mental or physical health problems or to do things that are bad for their health. If you are interested in taking a closer look at the research, Linda Waite in "A Case for Marriage, 2000" has presented a good overview of the BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE AND MARRIAGE COUNSELLING.
With these benefits in mind, it's therefore unfortunate that many couples are reluctant to seek counselling or don't consider using a relationship therapist early on. It would appear that many couples have false assumptions or misconceptions (even suspicions) about marriage counselling and what it entails.
John Gottman, a leading marriage counselor has spent decades researching happy couples for the underlying "fundamentals" of a successful marriage. He has discovered that even though all couples experience conflict in their marriages, happy couples apparently know how to handle their disagreements because of a foundation of affection and friendship. He therefore suggests that relationship counselling should teach communication skills to couples.
His work has also shown that, when both partners apply themselves to the process of marriage counselling the couple can be optimistic of the outcome (with over 80% of the couples he saw "saving" their marriage). Even severely unhappy marriages can turn around, and both partners can feel they are living a good, fulfilling and happy life together.
The reason for the success of marriage counselling is two-fold. Like any GOOD THERAPY, first it provides a level playing field and a neutral environment where both partners can express their thoughts and emotions in a safe and managed way; such that it becomes a time and place devoted to the relationship where the difficult subjects are discussed, worked through and resolved (without threat that the discussion will lead to the marriage falling apart).
The second reason for the success of marriage counselling is that the participants can see how bad patterns have been influencing many aspects of their life and are taught remedial techniques. Subsequently couples learn key skills and techniques that work specifically to their relationship. Those acquired knowledge and skills may include:
* PERSONAL GROWTH (AND THE MECHANISMS TO DEAL WITH PREVIOUS NEGATIVE BEHAVIOURS)
* INSIGHTFULNESS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP
* THE ABILITY TO ADDRESS SPECIFIC RELATIONSHIP ISSUES IN A HEALTHY WAY
* GAINING EXTRA TOOLS TO IMPLEMENT IN THE MARRIAGE ENVIRONMENT
* MINDFULNESS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
The science of marriage counselling has been studied in great detail and relationship experts are being used more widely. Receiving professional help before problems reach critical stage is beneficial, but getting advice on relationship skills as early as possible is advisable. A well-designed marital therapy helps those who are committed to the journey of marriage with all of its ups and downs and twists and turns.
Although seeking the advice or counsel of a professional can be extremely valuable, therapists and counselors - like any other professional - can make errors in judgment and execution. In the vast majority of cases, marital therapy or counselling helps marriages survive and thrive, but make sure you do your homework on the type of MARRIAGE COUNSELLING provided by a therapist before committing to sessions. Your choice of professional can make all the difference.
The post What Will I Get From Marriage Counselling? appeared first on Psychotherapist Counselling Therapy Sydney Psychotherapy.
Credit: break-seduction.blogspot.com
By Bonnie Contreras
Most people do not abort because that is the best decision they can make, but due to lack of otherwise. If you find some people aborting, the reasons behind it could be genuine and others not. For those who abort due to medical reasons, it is meant to protect the entire health of the woman. Most people have thought about this issue and have given it intensive discussion in various forums. If you must abort, you may inquire more from the abortion clinics in Los Angeles.
In any place you go across the world, you will note that the medical reasons that influence the willingness to abort are genuine. Women who have had impending miscarriages may not hold their pregnancies for a few months. The modern technology allows the doctors and other medical practitioners to determine the likelihood of a coming miscarriage. Before the miscarriage occurs, the doctors may advice the patient to abort.
In case the doctors detect that the fetus has birth defects, they may opt to discuss with you about aborting. Most women are not comfortable with carrying pregnancies of fetus with defects. They may try to do anything to avoid future problems. It is good to know that doctors use various methods to detect defects. These include blood tests, ultrasound techniques, and amniocentesis. If the defects are severe, you may choose to abort the child.
If the health of the mother is at risk of dangerous conditions due to the pregnancy, the only available option is to abort. It comes a time when the health of the mother cannot hold the pregnancy due to medical problems. When the mother has aggressive cancer problem, the doctors would recommend treating the cancer first. This may adversely put the fetus at a higher risk.
The unborn could also have various conditions that may not guarantee its survival for a long time. There are defects that unborn babies could have that may not be good for their entire survival. Pregnant women should go for intensive tests of their fetuses even at the age of 14 weeks. This screens any deformity that the unborn could be having that may severely affect their survival chances.
It is not true that people will always abort when there is s genuine reason to do so. There are those who will abort to avoid the shame that may find them later. Many girls would not like their parents to know they are pregnant. This would lead to various problems such end of school fees, lack of respect and bad image to the community.
Before some women decide to abort, they will first analyze the way in which the conception occurred. The fact that the woman got pregnant through rape instance is enough to make them abort. They do this to forget the ill action that took place some time back.
Spouses who are in serious relationship and friendship would not like to part just because of pregnancy issue. The woman will do everything possible to keep the friendship working and in good condition. In case you are in any of the above categories, you would better seek professional services from the abortion clinics in Los Angeles.
About the Author:
Read more about Reasons Why Women Search For Abortion Clinics In Los Angeles visiting our website.
I've recently had the opportunity to help design a brand-new open-enrollment Woman's Leadership Development Program to be offered through the University of New Hampshire's Executive Development Program. Given that I've written about how to design great leadership development programs, I thought it might make for an interesting case study to share with readers how I applied a lifetime of leadership development expertise to this program.
Here are 10 ELEMENTS OF A GREAT WOMAN'S LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM:
1. START WITH A SOLID RESEARCH FOUNDATION.
I've railed about this before - that is, the importance of applied leadership development based on solid evidence-based principles. I think it's especially important for a woman's leadership program, because you have to be able to answer the questions: "What makes this different than any other leadership program?" and "How will this program help woman succeed?"
For our program, we're building it based on the 2011 whitepaper "Taking Gender into Account: Theory and Design for Woman's Leadership Development Programs". It's written by professors from Harvard Business School, INSEAD, and Simmons School of Management. I've been involved in woman's leadership development programs for over 20 years, and I thought this was the best I've seen. In fact, we'll be using one of the authors, Deborah Kolb, to help us deign it and teach a module on negotiations.
From the authors: "We conceptualize leadership development as identity work and show how subtle forms of gender bias in the culture and in organizations interfere with the identity work of woman leaders. By framing leadership development as identity work, we reveal the gender dynamics involved in becoming a leader, offer a theoretical rationale for teaching leadership in woman-only groups, and suggest design and delivery principles to increase the likelihood that woman's leadership programs will help woman advance into more senior leadership roles."
2. BE READY WITH A SOLID BUSINESS CASE.
The other question that needs to be answered right off the bat is: "Why a leadership program just for woman?"
This isn't a question only men will ask - I hear it asked by woman just as often. Younger woman in particular, who may not have experienced blatant discrimination, will say the glass ceiling has been broken.
With all due respect to Jack Welch, the facts tell a different story:
According to 20-First's 3rd Annual Global Gender Scorecard, 90% of Executive Committee positions are still filled by men, with only 10% by women.
Discrimination still exists - it's just more subtle - referred to as "second generation gender discrimination".
Yet there is a real pay-off for companies that choose to close this gap. According to the 2010 McKinsey report, "Woman Matter", companies with the highest percentage of women show the best performance. In comparing the top-quartile of companies in terms of share of women in executive committees against companies that have all-male executive committees, McKinsey found that the former companies exceeded the latter by 41% in return on equity and by 56% in operating results.
Investing in the development of woman leaders isn't just a "nice" thing to do - it has a direct bottom-line pay-off.
3. DECIDE WHO THE AUDIENCE SHOULD BE AND BE SELECTIVE.
An important element of a great leadership development program is the opportunity to network and learn from other talented participants. You need to have clear program criteria so that participants can make good self-selection decisions, and also be willing to tactfully coach someone out of the program if they don't meet your criteria.
For our program, we chose to focus on "Mid and senior level women leaders in the corporate, public and non-profit sectors". We'll be looking for accomplished woman leaders with a track record of success, that are looking to advance their careers. Hard business skills are assumed to be a given.
4. THE RIGHT TOPICS.
Based on our own research and the input of a high level advisory committee, we started off with dozens of potential topics. However, we narrowed it down to the handful that we felt were critical differentiators for senior woman leaders: Leadership identity, negotiations, career strategies, presence, and leading change. These were the ones that we felt would give woman leaders the tools to address both glass ceiling and "sticky floor" barriers to success.
5. GREAT INSTRUCTORS.
Instructors need to be well versed in their specific topic (i.e., leading change") as well gender dynamics. Some would argue that program instructors don't have to be woman - but we thought it was important for group dynamics and credibility that they should be. I also think it's important to have a mix of accomplished academics AND practitioners, not just one or the other.
Here's our all-star line-up:
- Christine Shea, program Director, UNH
- Deborah Kolb, Simmons
- Vanessa Druskat, UNH
- Anne Perschel, Germane Consulting
- Elizabeth Freedman, Bates Communications
6. GREAT DESIGN.
In addition to any of the same design principles that make any leadership development program great (i.e., participant engagement, real world-applicability, challenging content), woman's leadership development programs need to be designed in a way that:
- Situate topics and tools in an analysis of second generation gender bias
- Create a holding environment to support woman's identity work
- Anchor participants in their leadership purpose
7. A GREAT SETTING.
OK, so I'm 100% biased on this one - after all, we moved to this area because we just love it so much. Our program will be conducted in our brand new, state-of-the-art Paul Collage of Business, with dedicated executive development classrooms, breakouts, and dining. Participants can choose from a number of hotels and inn near our quintessential New England campus and the charming seacoast city of Portsmouth, NH.
No matter where the program is located, the important thing is to make sure corners are not cut and every aspect of the program represents a first class experience.
8. SOCIALIZATION, NETWORKING AND SUPPORT.
Again, important for any leadership development program, but even more so for a woman's program, where the establishment of a safe space for learning and sharing is critical. A "holding environment" creates a space where woman can experience a sense of belonging and identification, where woman can offer feedback, serve as references for social comparison, and become "emotional anchors" for each other's personal learning.
We'll be doing this through the use of small group peer coaching, build-in networking opportunities (during and after the program), and exposure to as many role model guest speakers and mentors as possible.
9. OPPORTUNITY FOR ON-THE-JOB APPLICATION.
While personal development and success is important, companies often want to see a more immediate, tangible return in their investment. For our program, we'll be working with our participants to help them design and implement a strategic change project, most likely directed at addressing one or more of their organization's institutional barriers to the success of woman leaders. That way, both the individual AND the sponsoring organization gets a good ROI.
10. INDIVIDUALIZATION.
Although many of the challenges facing woman are common, the program should also offer opportunities for woman to work on their own unique challenges. We'll be doing this though individual assessment, peer coaching, and follow-up coaching with an instructor/coach.
The final piece of advice I'd offer for anyone thinking of getting involved in woman's leadership development: grow a thick skin. There will be skeptics and cynics, and that's OK, hopefully I've provided you with strategies to help with them. However, you may also be on the receiving end of some nasty stuff. Just ask Harvey Schachter, a reporter for Canada's Globe and Mail, who quoted me for a piece he wrote called "Bringing More woman to the Head Table". Here's a sampling of the comments we received:
"This is a load of BS until we see the feminist movement lobbying to get more women working in coal mines."
"What a load of crap. Thank GOD I never had to report to woman during my time in business. I would have quit."
And my favorite":"...this is a steaming pile of horse sh&t!"
This comes with the territory with woman's leadership development. Now bring it on.
How about you? Your thoughts on woman's leadership development programs? What would you like to see included or not included?
by Janelle Richards
Stay-at-home moms were in the spotlight last week after democratic strategist Hilary Rosen said stay-at-home mom Ann Romney had "actually never worked a day in her life." This statement kicked off what has been dubbed the "mommy wars" -- an intense debate between working women and stay-at-home moms about the value of each experience.
President Obama condemned Rosen's remarks, saying, "there's no tougher job than being a mom" and "when I think about what Michelle's had to do, when I think about my own mom, a single mother raising me and my sister, that's work. Anybody who would argue otherwise I think, probably needs to rethink their statement."
While women across the country reacted to Rosen's comments, some black women were mute on the topic. Unlike women of other ethnicities, black women have traditionally not had the choice to become stay-at-home mothers.According to "Historical Changes in Stay-at-Home Mothers: 1969 to 2009 by Rose M. Kreider and Diana B. Elliot the number of stay-at-home mothers has decreased from 9.8 million in 1969 to 5.7 million in 2009.
"Black women were about half as likely as White women to be a stay-at-home mother, while the odds for women of other races did not differ from those of White women," Kreider and Elliot write.
Historically, black women have always worked.
"There is evidence that married black women have always been employed outside of the house in large numbers," (Landry 2000) Kreider and Elliot note. "Even black mothers with young children were in the work force following World War II, when many of their white counterparts had withdrawn from the labor force" (Thistle 2006).
Now, the economy is perhaps the biggest reason why the idea of being a stay-at-mother for black women hasn't been a reality. The recession took a toll on the economic status of many Americans and the black community was hit particularly hard.
The 8.2 percent unemployment rate is nearly double that for African-Americans at 14 percent.
"Women usually have better success getting jobs than black men do," said Dr. Camille Charles, a Professor of Sociology and Africana Studies at the University of Pennsylvania. "So if you're talking about a two parent household, she's more likely to end up being the one to pick up the slack because historically the women have been more employable and more desirable employees because of the gender stereotypes we have as African-Americans."
Black women have an unemployment rate of about 12.3 percent, slightly lower than the 13.8 percent unemployment rate for black men. Black men and women have long worked to close the wealth gap between themselves and other ethnicities.
"The woman's not going to be the one to stop working and stay home," said Charles. "She might be the bigger earner. And as long as marriage and divorce rates are the way that they are now, and other contentious things in the black community, I don't think women are going to feel secure in giving up their careers."
During the late eighties and early nineties, fictional character Clair Huxtable in The Cosby Show embodied being a supermom. She had her own career; she was a dedicated mother and a loving wife. She was a symbol for many black women that they too could have and do it all.
Michelle Obama represents a similar ideal for many women today. She had a successful career as a lawyer before she became the first lady of the United States. She is now technically a stay-at-home mom, but her unique position makes her more of an outlier than the norm.
"I don't think [being a stay at home mother] has ever been a realistic option for the vast majority of black women," Charles added. "And even if we think about the black women who are married to the very few men who have the status where they can stay home - you're talking about a very small percentage of women who can do that comfortably."
Another reason why black women may have not have the option to stay home is because of the number of single mothers in the black community.In 2008, 72 percent of African-American babies were born to unwed mothers, according to a Pew Research report. Blacks were less likely than whites to be married, and black children were nearly three times as likely as white children to live with one parent.
Kuae Mattox is president of Mocha Moms, Inc., a support group for mothers who have decided not to work full-time outside of the home. Mattox is a stay-at-home mother who never imagined not working. She received her master's from Columbia University and went on to climb the ladder at national news organizations before deciding that staying home was the best choice for her family.
"There are many in the black community and in society who don't understand the value of what we're doing," said Mattox. "We understand very well, particularly in our organization, that a stay at home mom in January could be a working mom in September."
Maria Smith is another black stay-at-home mother and a journalist who describes her family as middle class.
"We're not the Romney's," said Smith, "We have sacrificed so that I can stay home. Not all families who have parents staying home are upper class. We don't live in mansions and all have maids and help for our kids and all that stuff that some one-percent type moms do."
Being a part of the upper echelon is just one label that black stay at home moms are given.
"When I was growing up, it never entered my mind that I would become a stay at home mother," said Mattox. "This was unheard of years and years ago -- our parents grew up and fought in the civil rights movement and their dream was to grow up and go to a good college and work their way up the corporate ladder."
Professional women who give up their careers to raise their families are sometimes seen as throwing away their hard earned success and erasing that progress which past generations worked to achieve through hard fought battles.
"Being a stay at home mother is a shift in who you are," said Smith, "It is about identity. I was never associated, myself, with just being a television producer; that was just what I did. But those lines get blurred a lot."
The societal implication that staying at home means you are living a life of luxury versus solely fulfilling domestic duties is not necessarily representative of what mothers at home are doing. Their reality is more complex.
"The whole notion of stay at home mom it's a huge misnomer, and it implies passivity," said Mattox, "The moms I've met -- they don't stay at home. They are home based parents, but they are moms who are grassroots organizers, PTA organizers, and they are out participating in their communities."
Balancing career and family life is a natural expectation for African-American women.
"We don't see the mommy wars as our wars - we have friends, mothers and aunts who all worked," said Mattox. "It would be hypocritical of us to disparage people who worked and to tell people what to do - you have to decide what's best for you and your family."
Ashani O'Mard is a grant development manager who manages a part-time schedule and raising her two children. She has sacrificed having a higher income for time with her family.
"I didn't know exactly what I wanted, but I knew I wanted to be a Clair Huxtable when I grew up," said O'Mard, "My career is very important to me and I wanted to continue to cultivate my professional development, but I did make a choice that it was second to my family. It's a complex issue. You have to sacrifice something and figure out what's the most important thing for you."
According to the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, there is still a racial gap that exists in education, but the college graduation rate for black students has improved over the past three years.
"We would not be given the choice to stay home if it weren't for the economic opportunities awarded to our husbands," said Mattox.
Credit: dating-for-black-men.blogspot.com
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Credit: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com
Building a great relationship isn't a matter of an abundance of any one big thing; there is no "magic spell" or "magic bullet" that's going to instantly put you over the top. But that's a good thing, because the alternative is creating a mixture of more common, attainable things, and any man can do that, IF he knows what goes into the mix!
Before we get started, check out this news article on the current state of divorces, counseling, etc., as influenced by current economic conditions. It's downright scary to see how many people are unhappily stuck together because they think they can't afford divorce or even counseling!
http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/business/Wanting to divorce but unable to afford it.html
That article was in 2008, and I don't have to tell you that things are even worse today; a Google or Bing search for "can't afford to get a divorce" still turns up dozens of current articles saying the same thing. Being able to get along with someone you'd rather not even be around, let alone live with, is becoming a pretty valuable survival skill.
One thing that caught my eye in the linked article was how these people who seek counseling because of the expense of divorce are looking at 1,000 or more for 10 or more sessions. Most of my readers never need counseling, and the few who opt for having me coach them have only rarely required more than one session of a single hour. Un-freaking-believable. I was flamed on another forum site by some guy who said that he was a counselor and was appalled because I gave specific advice. If it takes others ten to thirty sessions to get things on track and it takes me one (and I've had more than one caller tell me that they got more done with me in one hour than in thirty sessions with a counselor), I can see why that might upset him - and his banker. ;-)
By the way, in the end he ignored my advice to leave a woman who obviously had no love or respect for him, as evidenced by the way she chronically abused and demeaned him, because he found that by deceiving her, his situation became tolerable, and that in his estimation, deceit was the key to a happy relationship. I didn't bother responding out of respect for the owner of the web site, who tries to help people, while this guy was just looking for validation of his mistakes and lack of both manhood and integrity instead of a solution.
Come to think of it, if you want to see what I say to people in trouble outside of these newsletters, drop by our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, and see for yourself, and see what's happening as a result while you're at it. You may well see something that will help you right now, too! If you have your own issues you want help with, just register and post; registration is not required to read, but is required to post because anonymous posters tend to contribute nothing but spam and links to malware, plus the occasional troll remarks to start a fight.
Getting into today's lesson, as many of you already know, one of my acquired talents and favorite achievements is that of being a chef. The fact is I'm a "very alpha male" and therefore not only a leader, but also a consummate do-it-yourselfer, the most secure route to the independence that every alpha male demands, and a man who loves good food as much as I do needs to be able to create it at will, because unless you live in New York City, there are more places to get an average or bad meal than there are to get a good one.
(As a quick aside, New Yorkers are probably the only people on Earth that I envy as a whole, because in my experience, you just can't find a bad meal in New York City. I've literally had better food from a NYC street vendor's cart than I've had at restaurants in other places. A bad restaurant isn't going to survive very long in a densely populated city with commercial real estate prices and rental rates as high as they are there. If you love good food, a vacation there is worth the stay just for the food!)
Getting back on topic, I was making omelets for breakfast this morning ("guy omelets," loaded with pizza sauce, cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms, etc. - use your favorite pizza toppings!), and it hit me how much has to be just right for the eggs to set right, and how that equated to a relationship.
If you add too much water or milk, they don't hold together and you'll end up with runny scrambled eggs. If you let the mixture reach too high a temperature by leaving it in the pan too long, the proteins "spasm" and force all the water out of the eggs, giving you rubbery lumps sitting in water. Too much heat quickly will cause them to scorch and burn. Like baking anything that turns into a set foam (omelet, cake, biscuits, etc.), it's a matter of chemistry and physics, and you have to have the right amount of everything to make it perfect, and getting close will get you something very good.
It's the same way with relationships. Think about the things required to keep a woman happy:
You need to be sensitive to a woman's emotional condition and have good communications skills, but if you over apply either you end up being regarded as and treated like a girlfriend.
You need to project a strong leader-like personality, but if you cross the line and come off as controlling, you're toast, unless she happens to be particularly needy, in which case you're in a codependent relationship, one of the worst kinds.
You need to have a good sense of humor and know how to have fun and make her laugh, but if you do it too often, you're an over-aged adolescent clown, not "her dream guy who can be so much fun and makes her laugh when she feels bad." (She really will get bored with too much comedy.)
You need to project self-respect and groom and dress in a manner that does so, but if you go too far with that, especially if you go "metrosexual," you become conceited, fussy, spend more on skin and hair care products than she does, and you're fun to shop with but nothing else (GIRLFRIEND AGAIN!), not to mention getting all the attention that she wants when the two of you go out.
You need to be a friend and companion, but if you take that too far, you become "just friends," and a "nice guy," somebody she wants to watch a chick-flick with, not somebody she wants to have come into the house, sweep her off her feet, and ravish her. Just another relationship for her to have to manage, and women manage a lot of relationships, actively. And, regrettably, you'll also be someone who can't stand up to her, and hence, in her eyes, someone who can't stand up FOR her.
There are a lot of people touting a lot of ways to instantly get results, and as men, we tend to try to make each thing we hear about be that one magic thing we've been missing to make everything wonderful again. We heard women wanted a man to be "nice" and "sensitive" back in the 1980's. We gave up on being the men that our fathers taught us to be and started being wimps who cried in front of their women while watching a movie.
What they wanted was for us to be real men, treat them as someone we liked (nice) instead of taking all their money and beating them up and then leaving them for one a little younger, and to be emotionally aware enough know that there would be times when they would be upset for no apparent reason, and other times when they needed to talk to somebody, and that busting through the door yelling "I'm home! Where's my damned dinner?" wasn't going to work out very well for anyone involved.
You don't need to know every little thing there is to know about women, but there are some very important things that you do need to know if you ever want to be happy with one or more of them. And there again, it's not just one thing you'll need to know about, but a mix of things: compatibility, communications, emotions, mentality, needs, wants, and reactions, just to name the big ones. And then you need to throw into that mix everything that makes the women in your life (wife, daughters, sisters, friends, wives of friends, coworkers, wives of coworkers - there are probably a lot more women in your life than you realize) individuals, their idiosyncrasies that will endear you to them if you notice and appreciate.
With all these "mixes" going on, it sounds like you need a HUGE cookbook, doesn't it?
Well, no, you don't, and no, I'm not going to drop that "recipe for a happy marriage" clich'e on you. It's as much like a balancing act as it is like cooking. However, you do need to learn a few things because there are several aspects of your relationship that you need to master and manage.
But! That's not to say that you need a dozen books on psychology, several on communication, a few on seduction, a bunch on female physiology and sexual technique, one on women's history, etc. Yeah, that's a mixture, too, but it's a lot of overkill, and quite frankly, since a lot of women think they want things that they really respond to quite negatively, it's also going to be pretty confusing.
There is an answer for you, though. It's not a freebie, but you can easily afford it, no matter what your situation (if you can afford a computer and Internet service, this is pocket change). It's not a magic pill, but it's a regimen you can easily swallow. It's not likely to turn your life upside down overnight, but some of my readers have stopped their divorces cold within less than a week of receiving it, and over the course of several weeks after that put things back on track and then went on to make them better than they've ever been.
Some are going more slowly, taking a few months, because sudden change just isn't in them (you know, the detail-oriented sort who take the time to check and double-check and study everything before taking action), but even if you are one of those people, what's two or three months compared to extending your marriage as much as thirty or forty years, and making it a great marriage instead of a trap that sucks the life out of you?
Or worse, what are two or three months compared to the years you might continue to be unhappy and/or alone, or stuck with the wrong person, if things continue the way they're going? Not much, not much at all. Let's see, three months study and self-improvement for 30 years of happiness. That's a 12,000% return, and unlike the stock market, you're in total control of whether that investment pays off, because it's based on choices you make and actions you take, not the choices and actions of others. And I don't even want to try to compute the percentage gain if you only have to spend the two to four hours required to read a book and hit the ground running!
Your answer is at http://www.makingherhappy.com. It's called "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and from what my readers and I have seen, it has that which will cure what ails your relationship, if you do nothing more than read and apply it. Don't tell anybody I told you so, but just between us, it's a whole lot of fun, so get to it now, before you do another thing!
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
ABOUT FAVORITE DAUGHTER, PART ONE:
Set in the time of the Jamestown settlement and the English explorer John Smith, Favorite Daughter, Part One recounts the story of Chief Powhatan's daughter, Pocahontas, as she prepares to take her place as one of our nation's earliest leading women. Pocahontas invites readers to experience her native world when strangers appear on the shores near her village. From forging a relationship with the charismatic Smith, to experiencing love for the first time and creating a role for herself in her father's plans for peace, this young girl takes us on a poignant and harrowing journey through the turbulent events of her life. Eventually betrayed by all of the men she loves, Pocahontas matures into a heroine of tremendous nobility, courage, and heart.
Told in first person, in a voice brimming with compassion and wisdom, Favorite Daughter, Part One provides a compelling look at the early days of one of the most remarkable legends in American history.
Editor's Choice Award Winner, 24th Annual San Diego State University Writers' Conference
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR, BUY THE BOOK, OR FOLLOW THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
Visit the Author's Website.
Buy the Book On Amazon.
AUTHOR BIO:
Paula Margulies is the owner of Paula Margulies Communications, a public relations firm for authors and artists. She has received numerous awards for her short stories, essays, and novels, including her historical novel, Favorite Daughter, Part One, her debut novel, Coyote Heart, and her short story collection, Face Value: Collected Stories. Paula is a contributor to a number of blogsites and writing websites, including Author Magazine and The Writer's Edge (writersedgeinfo.blogspot.com). She has been awarded artist residencies at Caldera, Red Cinder Artist Colony, the Vermont Studio Center, and Centrum. Paula resides in San Diego, California. For more information, please visit www.paulamargulies.com.
Favorite Daughter, Part One is a post from Awesome Gang
THANKS MARYLOU!
">>>HI ALL:"
Salim was invited to make a presentation in Ottawa to the Standing Committee on Citizenship and Immigration which he's given me permission to post on our website.
http://ifpscanada.com/content/salim-mansur-presentation-standing-committee-citizenship-and-immigration
Feel free to share with your readers so they can see there are Muslims out there who agree with them that unchecked immigration from Muslim countries might be a problem. :)
>>>>>
SALIM MANSUR: PRESENTATION TO THE STANDING COMMITTEE ON CITIZENSHIP AND IMMIGRATION
Salim Mansur, author of "Delectable Lie: a liberal repudiation of multiculturalism", was recently invited to Ottawa to make a presentation before the Standing Committee on Citizenship and Immigration. Below are his remarks to the politicians who we elect to safeguard our interests, our values, our country.
HEARING OF THE STANDING COMMITTEE ON CITIZENSHIP AND IMMIGRATION, OTTAWA, MONDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2012. WITNESS STATEMENT BY SALIM MANSUR "Honourable Members, Many thanks for inviting me to share my thoughts with this Standing Committee on Citizenship and Immigration. I appear before you as a common citizen deeply apprehensive and concerned about the drift of our country as it changes due to the rate of immigration that is without precedent among any of the advanced liberal democracies of the West. My expertise, or to the extent my expertise is recognized by this Committee for which I have been invited to appear before you, is that of a professional academic, a researcher, writer, author and public intellectual of some recognition in this great country of ours, and I am both proud and humbled to come before you as an unhyphenated Canadian. Let me state right at the outset, before I share with you my perspective on immigration, I support all measures under consideration that modern technology provides for in securing our borders, monitoring those who seek to gain entry into Canada, those who arrive here without proper documentation and claim refugee status, and those in legions outside of Canada who want to come here as immigrants. I believe it is a no brainer to work towards a more secure Canada, and to implement smart cards, biometric systems, and other tools available now or will be in the future for the purpose of keeping Canada and Canadians secure from those who would do us harm. I have no doubt on this matter that were we to have the thoughts of our founding fathers inform us, and those remarkable leaders who have come after them such as Laurier and King, Pearson and Trudeau, Knowles and Douglas, they would remind us that a constitution agreed upon by a free people to provide for, as John A. Macdonald put it, "peace, order and good government" is not a suicide-pact. In the small amount of time I have before you I want to stress upon the first principle behind the Immigration policy as it has evolved since the centennial year and presently stand. Needless to remark that Canada is an immigrant country, and our history tells us as we should know it has been immigrants from Europe over the past several centuries that built this country. On the whole they built it well and, indeed, so well that Canada has come to be an eagerly sought country for people from around the world as I did. But, and here is the point, at some stage of Canada's historical development since at least 1867 those who built Canada in the early years of its history could have reached an agreement to close the door to further immigration. They did not. They believed the strength of their country would be maintained through a judicious policy of accepting new immigrants from Europe. But the key point here I want to emphasize, and I have written about this at length in the public media, is they all believed that immigration judiciously and carefully managed (I emphasize manage) in terms of numbers and source origin of immigrants should be such that the nature of Canada as a liberal democracy is not undermined. It is numbers and the nature of numbers that matters and, given the nature of things, determines how existing arrangements are secured or undermined. Since the open door immigration policy was instituted around the time of Canada's centennial year, the nature of immigration into Canada started to change from what had been the pattern since before 1867 to around 1960. During the past fifty years immigration from outside of Europe, from what is generally designated the Third World, has rapidly increased in proportion to those immigrants originating in Europe. Furthermore, given the revolution in transportation with the introduction of wide body trans-continental jetliner that has made mass travel economical and easy the distinction between immigrant and migrant workers has been eliminated. This means, and it is not simply in reference to ethnicity, that Canada is rapidly changing culturally in ways our political elite, media elite and academic elite do not want to discuss. But the fact that this is not discussed, or driven under the carpet, does not mean the public is not keenly aware of how much the country has changed in great measure in a relatively short period, and if this pattern continues for another few decades there is the likelihood that Canada will have changed irrevocably, and not necessarily for the better in terms of its political tradition as a liberal democracy. So in terms of first principle, we need our governing institutions and those individuals we, as Canadians, send to them to represent us, to boldly re-examine our existing immigration policy and re-think it in terms of what it represents and how it will affect the well-being of Canada in the years to come. I do not need to remind you that any set of policy, however benign or good the intent is behind the making of such policy, is riddled with unintended consequences. History is a paradox. What you intend is not how things turn out in the long run, and not even in the short term. Pick any example you want, and think it through and see for yourself the paradoxical nature of history and how it surprises us by confounding our expectations. I have at hand the recent publication of Statics Canada, Projections of the Diversity of the Canadian Population: 2006 to 2031. In other words, this projection affects me now and what remains of my life, but more importantly affects my children, my students, my friends and neighbours in their life time. Your views, as our representatives, are critical and will affect all of us, and you will be responsible in terms of our history, if you take your place in these hallowed halls with the seriousness it demands, for the good and the bad that come out of your decisions. Let me quickly, time permitting, point out from this Statistics Canada publication the following:
* Given the nature of our immigration policy since the 1960s, the foreign born population is growing about 4 times faster than the rest of the population; consequently, in 2031 there will be between 9.8 million and 12.5 million foreign-born persons compared to 6.5 million in 2006, and the corresponding number in 1981 was 3.8 million.
* According to Statistics Canada projection, the population estimated for 2031 will be around 45 million of which 32 per cent, or around 14.5 million people will be foreign-born.
* One more interesting, and yet critical, figure is the cultural/religious make up of Canada in 2031. The fastest growth, according to the report, is "the Muslim population... with its numbers tripling during this period. This increase is mainly due to two factors: the composition of immigration... and higher fertility than for other groups." The figures are for Muslims in 2006 at around 900,000 constituting 2.7 per cent of the population, and rising to in 2031 to around 3.3 million constituting 7.3 per cent of the population.
If the levels of immigration in Canada is being maintained, and defended, on the basis of the needs to deal with the problems of Canadian society in terms of an aging population, fertility rates among Canadian women, skilled labour requirement and maintaining a growth-level for the population consistent with the growth of the economy, then this policy needs to be seriously re-evaluated. We cannot fix the social problems of the Canadian society by an open immigration policy that adds to the numbers at a rate that puts into question the absorptive capacity of the country not only in economic terms but also, if not more importantly, in cultural and social terms and what this does to our political arrangements as a liberal democracy. The March 2012 Herbert Grubel and Patrick Grady study for the Fraser Institute on Immigration and Refugee Policy should end once and for all the naivety that immigrants add in the short and medium term to economic gains for the country. Indeed, the cost-benefit analysis the Grubel-Grady study provides, based on government sources and revenue Canada numbers, indicates immigrants are a net cost to the rest of the society. "The fiscal burden imposed by the average recent immigrants," Grubel and Grady write, "is 6,000, which for all immigrants is a total between 16 billion and 23 billion per year." This is unfair, unsustainable, and disruptive to the Canadian society when set against the demands of Canadians for their needs, especially in distressing economic times as we have been witnessing since 2008. The flow of immigration into Canada from around the world, and in particular the flow from Muslim countries, means a pouring in of numbers into a liberal society of people from cultures at best non-liberal. But we know through our studies and observations that the illiberal mix of cultures poses one of the greatest dilemmas and an unprecedented challenge to liberal societies, such as ours, when there is no demand placed on immigrants any longer to assimilate into the founding liberal values of the country to which they have immigrated to and, instead, by a misguided and thoroughly wrong-headed policy of multiculturalism encourage the opposite. It is no wonder that recently the German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the British Prime Minister David Cameron, among other European leaders and a growing body of intellectuals, have spoken out in public against multiculturalism and the need to push it back, even repeal it. I have written a book on the wrong headed policy of multiculturalism published recently under the title "Delectable Lie: a liberal repudiation of multiculturalism". Time forbids me to discuss this matter at any length, but I would surely hope members of this Committee might take the time and read my book even if they disagree with me. Here I want to leave you in your deliberations to reflect upon the following situation of a paradoxical nature: We may want to continue with a level of immigration into Canada annually that is about the same as it is at present; i.e. somewhere in the vicinity of 300,000 immigrants, refugee claimants, and students and workers under visa provision entering Canada. We cannot, however, continue with such an in-flow of immigrants under the present arrangement of the official policy of multiculturalism based on the premise all cultures are equal when this is untrue, and that this policy is a severe, perhaps even a lethal, test for a liberal democracy such as ours. This means we cannot simultaneously continue with both, the existing level of immigration and official multiculturalism, as they together endanger greatly our liberal democratic traditions. If we persist we will severely undermine our liberal democracy or what remains of it, compromise the foundation of individual freedom by accommodating group rights, and bequeath to our children and unborn generations a political situation fraught with explosive potential for ethnic violence the sort of which we have seen in Europe as in the riots in the ban lieu or suburbs of Paris and other metropolitan centres. In conclusion, I want to emphasize we need to consider lowering the number of immigrants entering into Canada until we have had a serious debate among Canadians on this matter. We should not allow bureaucratic inertia determining not only the policy, but the existing level of immigrant numbers and source origin that Canada brings in annually. We have the precedent of how we selectively closed immigration from the Soviet bloc countries during the Cold War years, and we need to consider doing the same in terms of immigration from Muslim countries for a period of time given how disruptive the cultural baggage of illiberal values is brought in as a result. We are, in other words, stoking the fuel of much unrest in our country as we have witnessed of late in Europe. And lest any member wants to instruct me that my views are in any way politically incorrect or worse, I would like members to note I come before you as a practicing Muslim who know out of experience from the inside how volatile, how disruptive, how violent, how misogynistic is the culture of Islam today and has been during my lifetime, and how greatly it threatens our liberal democracy that I cherish since I know what is its opposite. Thank you. Tags: Salim MansurImmigration reformmulticulturalismDelectable Lieopen immigration policyCategories: Free ExpressionMulticulturalismNews
Author: Christina Sponias
If you want to make future predictions, you must learn the unique method through which you can change the development of negative aspects in the future, instead of simply learning what is going to happen in the future without being able to correct the development in the best way for you.
Only the scientific method of dream interpretation discovered by the psychologist and psychiatrist Carl Jung is correct. I continued his research into the unknown region of the psyche, where I discovered the wild side of the human conscience that provokes craziness to the human side.
But don't think that the scientific method can give you only psychological relief.
If you want to have a spiritual experience interpreting your dreams, the scientific method will give you exactly what you need, because the wise unconscious mind that produces your dreams is directed by God, who is simply the unique one who could differentiate himself from the others and eliminate the dangerous and evil anti-conscience, discovering goodness.
By interpreting your dreams and following the guidance you receive, you will learn how to develop your spirituality, reaching wisdom and perfection.
If you want to make future predictions, you must learn the unique method through which you can change the development of negative aspects in the future, instead of simply learning what is going to happen in the future without being able to correct the development in the best way for you.
If you are very worried because you have relationship problems or you are in love and you don't know how to behave, the guidance of the unconscious in your dreams will help you solve the existing problems and help you completely develop your human conscience, developing your intelligence, so that you will be mature and self-confident.
The unconscious mind will send you many dreams with real information about the person you love and show you how you can have a balanced and happy relationship with them.
If you are depressed or feeling that you are losing your mental stability and you want to be cured without going anywhere, without paying your therapist and without fearing that the therapy may not help you, you have to learn how to interpret your dreams with my simplification of Jung's method; since the wise unconscious mind that produces your dreams knows everything about you and is always trying to help you fight the wild anti-conscience that wants to destroy your human conscience.
This is the unique doctor you can completely trust!
If you have physical problems or strange diseases that no doctor can diagnose and no medicine can cure, the interpretation of your dreams according to the scientific method will explain exactly why these problems were formed and what you have to do in order to find health and happiness.
No matter what your problems or desires are you will find the answers you need in the scientific method of dream interpretation, because it is a real translation of the dream messages and because the wise and saintly unconscious mind that produces your dreams is your protector.
Carl Jung studied the meaning of dreams for many years, comparing many dreams and doing research that involved many different fields of speculation in order to discover the exact translation for them. His work was not yet properly evaluated by the scientific world.
Thanks to my research however, Jung's discoveries were proved and many other discoveries made by me explain all the obscure points in his theory.
So, don't believe in any other method of dream interpretation, because the other methods are not a real and accurate translation of the dreams' meaning. They are simply human suppositions and deductions.
Start learning now how to exactly interpret your own dreams using the unique scientific method, which will really help you in all aspects of life!
Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere. Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com and www.booksirecommend.com where you may download your copy of the Free ebook Beating Depression and Craziness
When I first started learning NLP, I had a client who wanted to increase his self-confidence. So I worked with him using some of the NLP strategies such as modeling and positive affirmations. In this article I'll be sharing how this was effective and, most important, where I believe that the strategy was completely ineffective for the client and I compared to the VDT principles which I'm exclusively using today to help people develop unshakable self-confidence. If you're interested in how you can develop natural, rock solid confidence without having to undergo, this might be an interesting read for you... The Pros and Cons of NLP Modeling NLP modeling is the method of finding someone who has accomplished the things that you wish to accomplish and who best represents the person you want to become and modeling their behaviors. The up side of this approach is that it challenges a person to become more aware of their own behaviors, their words and their thought process. After all, the more you're consciously focusing on whether or not you're displaying the "right" body language, speech patterns and habits, the more aware you become of yourself and with self-awareness comes power...most of the time. The problem with this approach is that this self-awareness can become self-consciousness VERY fast. After all, it makes you more aware of the contrast between who you are on the inside and this person you're imitating. Deep inside, all of us are who we are, no matter who we try to tell ourselves that we are or who we try to be like. The problem with modeling is that you're imitating, and no one ever achieved greatness through imitation. After over a decade of coaching, I've found that this approach, although providing a good means of putting on a show, doesn't lead to a deeper sense of personal value and of being true to oneself. That's something which can only be accomplished by applying the VDT principle of Clarity... The Law of Clarity for Building Self-Confidence Self-awareness is more important than confidence. The more you understand about yourself, the more you allow for the repressed parts of your personality to express themselves and to mature within the context of real life. As this happens, you begin to grow into the person who you were born to become, and this brings a natural sense of fulfillment and self-assurance. A self-assurance based not on imitation or modeling but based on being true to your deepest desires and drives. This takes longer than modeling, but the effects are MUCH more permanent and it doesn't leave you with the feeling that you are betraying yourself or living as an impostor. This is the most certain and natural path to building rock solid, unshakable self-confidence, and the best time to start is right now. By: Seth Czerepak
If you are interested in the Korean dating scene, primarily dating Korean women then you need to pay close attention to this article. I am about to reveal why you are having a difficult time meeting Korean women, what you should be doing to meet Korean women and at last how not to mess it all up.
We all know how desirable Asian women are. I could write this whole article on the desirable traits that most Asian women posses but you already know that. What is fast becoming popular is how Korean women are now taking the spotlight and getting attention from the rest of the world.
Many men whether they be Korean or Asian, regardless of their race is noticing the beauty, the intelligence and overall charm of Korean women. However unless you already live in Korea you may have a challenging time getting the opportunity to meet Korean women for dating. The reason being is most people of Korean heritage live in Korea. Only 1% of the United States population is of Korean heritage. This, my friend is your problem but here comes the solution.
If you are interested in Korean dating, that is you are eager about dating Korean women then you easiest solution is to explore online Korean dating sites. Whether you are Korean or not Korean is does not matter as online dating has evolved into the most practical, affordable and do not forget the most successful method to dating Korean women.
Not all Korean Dating sites are the same so do not join any Korean dating site unless they offer all these features:
Must offer free basic membership. This is important as you want to be able to test drive the site some before you commit. A quality dating site will have a "Join for Free" option.
Must not only offer members photos but videos, online chat and instant messaging as well. Tools like these are necessary to fully learn about other members, to zero in on the type of person you're seeking and rule out the ones you want to avoid.
Must offer anonymous email option. This serves as a safety precaution and also is a great way to grab someone's attention, we all know the secret admirer trick, and it still works.
Your Korean dating site should be available in Korean and English. The reason for this is many people of Korean heritage are bilingual and this option attracts a much stronger membership. The more members to view, the better your chances are of meeting that special Korean woman to date.
Make sure you upload a recent photo and more than just one as three photos of yourself really gets great response. Your photos do not have to be professional style portraits. In fact it is better that they be more realistic in setting such as you on your job or you active with one of your hobbies. This lets other members view you the way you really are creating a better chance of meeting someone with interests like yours.
The last thing I want get across here, is once you find the Perfect Korean Dating Site take the time when completing your personal profile. Answers all questions in full detail, review what you wrote and make sure it includes all of your fine traits. Remember you are selling yourself, do not tell lies, always be truthful but make sure to elaborate on your finer qualities.
This is the best method to break into the Korean dating scene as you now have all the knowledge needed to make you online dating experience a meaningful and successful adventure.
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