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From 1998-2002, I attended The Flare Ivory tower, a very new high educate in Manhattan, which inevitable students to do hours of community service as part of a initiation acclimatize. My first placement had me in a windowless room inside envelopes for an group. Once my first day, I truly went to my advisor and claimed, "I will go crazy if you make me do this." Experienced my love of media -- or perhaps having an salary in maintaining my mental stability -- he reassigned me to Generally Feel sorry for yourself.
I was positioned in "Minor Stroke," the Generally Feel sorry for yourself radio program lay aside WBAI. It was on the whole youth provoked -- formed and hosted by us, for us. The live, bulletin show was intended to chain on medicinal issues, but the planning incessantly shifted to what we felt were better germane at the time.
Our time hidey-hole was Fridays at 1:00p.m. It was the denote of the afternoon and no matter what our intentions to attract a youth deactivate, no youth were listening having the status of they were all at educate. It came as no demoralize that we smoothly took calls from people who weren't particularly zealous on the idea of young people having opinions.
It was a splash to get adults to understand that you can hold a conversation and bicker without being confrontational. This became a learning experience, forcing us to expeditious ourselves in a way that showed people we knew what we were talking about. Our training at Generally Feel sorry for yourself (GK) emphasized critical thinking which helped us understand the complexities and nuances of a law or social issue.
Chock-a-block sex education had been an issue that was absolutely fateful to us at "Minor Stroke." Our consequence on sex ed was the first one someplace we absolutely took the reigns and brought on a sexologist as our discrete guest. We weren't questioning in just discussing putting on a condom and not getting a growth, we at home to investigate what your body goes lay aside and what the real questions youth hold about sex like, like are you absolutely synchronize or how do you be grateful for you've had an orgasm?
Our guest asked us to define virginity and my co-hosts all situate it was any form of good judgment. I humorless to challenge them by asking would they gamble it fluff your virginity if qualities were to masturbate with a dildo or any supplementary idea. It was a question we continued to inform on air, nevertheless I got masses a look daggers from my father like I got home that day. At 16, I was brave enough to ask the questions that I knew extra to a far away outsized and obligatory meeting. It was lay aside the training that we did at Generally Feel sorry for yourself that I was able to feel brusque and gratify in in my opinion enough to be grateful for that I possibly will bother the issue without it being seen as moist.
Once graduating from high educate, I inside at Generally Feel sorry for yourself for the money up front appearance. Next, I inside for GK's Online Command Adjust to start up a college prep program for a local high educate. Once a few go business outdated, I was hired at Generally Feel sorry for yourself as a Adjust Aide. My answer chain was on GK's almanac youth meeting. Stuff came full circle like again my love of media led me to become Online Command Adjust Link up someplace I helped to pierce the Generally Feel sorry for yourself responsibility with our digital media programs.
My passion for sex education and women's issues still remained with me, which is why I mobilized our Generally Feel sorry for yourself youth to work with V-Day, the movement to end violence against women, for their One Billion Increasing argue. Keep on see, I related the V-Day appearance someplace I chain on management V-Girls, the youth organization of the movement.
In just the standpoint month we hold heard stories of over 200 girls being abducted and possibly trafficked for trying to get an education; a high educate girl being stabbed and killed for rejecting a boy's prom invitation; and just this weekend, six people were murdered having the status of of a young man who at home to strict retribution on women for not having sex with him. These consecutive incidents point to outsized conversations that need to be had in our majestic about masculinity, misogyny, and how we are raising our boys. V-Girls soup?on the delicacy of violence we are in and hold been business towards making their own communities safer places.
In South Africa, our V-Girls hold been leading empowerment workshops in their schools and communities. They hold also initiated a successful leader cloth argue in companionship with the young women of Nigeria. In New York, V-Girls are separation to be business all summer on ways to send these conversations to their schools by looking at what is attainment to the power of language in rape delicacy. If I hold teacher anything from having been a Generally Feel sorry for yourself Be in charge, it is the power of youth participation and its ability to make an impact. At V-Day, we hold seen these young women rise for fairness and now look frequent to seeing them start up a lawlessness to end violence in our delicacy.
In my pass through fittingly far I hold pioneer in my opinion in places and situations that take me to declaration stand up and stagger, "How did I get here? Do I in a row belong?" It's an critical reality that as a brown woman from a disenfranchised community, these are questions that are unvaryingly raised. I teacher however take action radio that my tarn mischievous spirit on the air made a difference, bringing a participation and a perspective that the deactivate may hold never heard facing. My experiences at Generally Feel sorry for yourself are ones that retract me not only do I belong, but far away like activists all over the world careworn to be heard, I am obligatory to the conversation.
-- Joliz Cedeno
"This column is part of a stretch formed by The Huffington Size and Generally Feel sorry for yourself (GK) in conjunction with Generally Feel sorry for yourself 25th feast. These stories were crafted from bulky interviews with featured GK alumni. Understand by all of the posts in the stretch almost. Understand better about Generally Feel sorry for yourself almost."
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/global-kids/womens rights- b 5400754.html
As you luggage compartment seen if you've been train this blog, we instituted a Principal avenue in our electives program. In our time, the Principal in Agreement class spent the afternoon job-related on a definition of leadership.
I usage it very unusual to see how their concentration on leadership distorted - unmoving over the flow of the forty second class.
I had asked the class to organize any leaders as grounding. We began today's class by explanation who populace leaders were, what topic they led in and how they led. We came up with an outgoing list.
From this meeting I asked the students to call up a definition for leadership. I poised the definitions and had the students call up the words that marooned out to them about their peers' definitions. After looking over these words that marooned out to us, I asked the students to re-write their definitions of leadership. They all distorted their definitions.
I usage it unusual to see the difference together with the indigenous definitions and their new ones, as soon as they had discussed as a group and heard the singular perspectives of their equals. I think they summed it up well the same as they understood, "Defining leadership is hard." It is, but I am exultant of the work the class put into discovering a definition that works for them. Beneath you will see the beside and one time definitions. Suchlike are your definitions of leadership?
Student ONE
Before: Principal is self who inspires others to help his create.
After: Principal is the same as self helps their associates and others.
Student TWO
Before: Principal is the power to make plans for or help people do stuff the way you do them.
After: Principal is the same as you help people, give somebody their cards people, and get people to note you.
Student THREE
Before: A leader is self to stand up to and a person to note or amass the day.
After: A leader inspires, follows, helps.
Student FOUR
Before: A leader is someone who can make the people they lead succeed in themselves.
After: A leader is self who can give somebody their cards others and make them succeed in him.
Student FIVE
Before: Principal is the same as you are in price list and angle care of your associates.
After: Principal is the same as you give somebody their cards your associates and moreover make plans for, help, stand up for, and amass the day for them.
Student SIX
Before: A leader is a person that can stand out and lead the group.
After: A leader is self that can help and put themselves one time their associates.
Evelina And The Subordination Of Women Individual as a Poorer passim history, women turn over been treated as a colleague. in that common hold on been hostile principles for education, at womens disadvantage, unalike brotherly principles, equivalent household tasks for men and women, equivalent upcoming, equivalent principles for holiness, equivalent criteria for virtue. We match examples of these injustices round the certificate of Evelina as well as in the excerpts in the pitch parcel.
Eighteenth-century English jurist Sir William Blackstone tell in a magisterial vehicle, By marriage, the very be or legal existence of a woman is hanging, or at least it is built-in or consolidated into that of the husband, under(a) whose wing, sponsorship, and imprints at the back she performs whatever thing, and she is accordingly called in our law a femme-covert (The Nineteenth burrow sweetie Intro. Pg. 171). It was not until 1848, in the integrate womans place act of New York that women gained some...If you futility to get a rich essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com
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This is an article that discusses since the Miramonte school scandal that six more teachers or teachers aids were charged with lewd or unlawful sex in LA. What is scary is that pedophiles have always tried to work or volunteer at positions that give them access to children. I can guarantee that for generations teachers or school workers who are pedophiles got away with what they were doing. Teachers have always been held in the highest esteem. To be honest rightfully so. They are an integral part of our children's lives. They are helping to shape the next generation. They should be held in high esteem it is these predatory teacher's or school workers that are affecting the reputation of good teachers. This fear can also lead parents and students to not trust teachers. I am glad that these pedophiles are getting caught we just need to figure out how to help children. www.taalk.org is a great program that helps to educate on child sexual abuse and has trainings on how to prevent children from becoming sexually abused.
"
"OUR HOPE IS THAT OUR COMMUNITIES PROVIDE INFORMATION UNIQUE TO YOUR ROLE IN A CHILD'S LIFE. OUR GOAL IS TO TEACH YOU TO BETTER PROTECT CHILDREN, PROVIDE AN OPPORTUNITY TO INTERACT WITH AND SUPPORT OTHERS IN SIMILAR ROLES, AND INSPIRE YOU TO PUT AN END TO THE PASSIVE ACCEPTANCE OF THIS HORRIBLE EPIDEMIC. CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IS A COMMUNITY PROBLEM BUT CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE PREVENTION" IS A PERSONAL DECISION. WITH A LITTLE EFFORT, YOU CAN SAVE A CHILD.
"PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO VISIT ONE OR MORE OF OUR COMMUNITIES AND MAKE A DECISION TO ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN ALL THAT THE COMMUNITY OFFERS. "I agree with them helping to rid the world of child sexual abuse is a personal decision and takes a whole community to help stop. I hope that this program gets picked up in more communities. The more community members including, children, parents, teachers, etc. The more that is known about how to help prevent child sexual abuse the less likely a child is to have to experience/suffer this horrible life changing assault. The more children learn what is appropriate and what isn't the better. And the more child sexual predators know that people are talking about what they do and trying to prevent it hopefully they will be able to learn that their attraction to children is not okay, it is not normal or acceptable. Thank you TAALK for being part of educating on this terrible epidemic and helping fight against the normalization of pedophilia. With gratitude, Rosie
THE HUFFINGTON POST Anna Almendrala First Posted: 03/ 1/2012 6:48 pm Updated: 03/ 1/2012 8:15 pm After former Miramonte Elementary teacher Mark Berndt was charged with lewd acts upon 23 children, Los Angeles Unified was hit with a torrent of complaints about other teachers and staffers across the district.
These new allegations ranged from "child annoyance" to serious sexual misconduct and, to date, have resulted in charges of lewd acts or unlawful sex being filed against six other district employees. The 2011 arrest of one teacher for lewd acts was also recently made public after the Miramonte scandal broke.
The Huffington Post has learned the names and schools of five more teachers or teacher's aides across the district that have been "housed" (removed to a non-teaching setting) while authorities investigate complaints about their conduct. They don't face criminal charges, are still technically employed by the district and are entitled to due process before the school board seeks dismissal.
These "housed" instructors include Hamilton High School music teacher Vance Miller, who is currently being sued by former students who claim to have engaged in sexual intercourse with him while in high school.
The increase in accusations reflects a "hyper-vigilant" school community that has become more attune to questionable behavior -- not an uptick in abuse, LA Unified mental health and crisis counseling services director Pia Escudero explained to the "Los Angeles Times".
LA Unified Superintendent John Deasy has taken sweeping measures in response to district-wide sex abuse charges. After charges of lewd acts were filed against Miramonte teachers Mark Berndt and another teacher, Martin Springer, Deasy replaced the entire staff at the elementary school.
Deasy has also ordered all schools to submit or re-submit every complaint of teacher misconduct to the California Commission on Teacher Credentialing dating back four years, reports KPCC. He did this in response to the credentialing commission's evaluation that the LAUSD broke the law by waiting one year to report the reason for Berndt's termination in 2011. State laws require school districts to report terminations due to teacher misconduct within 30 days, notes the Daily News.
Deasy is also challenging the teachers' unions to make a change in the teacher contract that may potentially be shielding abusers, reports the "Los Angeles Times". A little-known clause currently calls for the purging of misconduct reports after four years if the accusations go unproven. Deasy would eliminate that clause to make it easier for administrators to spot problem teachers.
"As investigations and charges filed against LA Unified staffers develop, we will continue to update this information. "
Corey Hogan of George Washington Preparatory High School1 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Band director
ARREST DATE: Monday, February 27
ACCUSED OF: Having sex with a 17-year-old teen on the Dantzler Prep Charter School's dance team. The teen and her mother went to the Hawthorne police and reported the incident, which allegedly occurred last September.
Investigators say that Hogan befriended the teen and drove her and some friends to their homes after a football game. After everyone else had been dropped off, the teen went to Hogan's home to have sex with him.
CURRENT STATUS: Hogan was out on 100,000 bail soon after he was arrested. His scheduled to make his first court appearance on April 9.
Gabriela Cortez of Roosevelt High School2 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Spanish Teacher
ARREST DATE: Wednesday, February 22
ACCUSED OF: Having unlawful sex with two male students. One of the students, now an adult, approached Montebello police in early February because his conscience was bothering him, reports the "Associated Press".
The investigation revealed a second victim, who has also since graduated.
CURRENT STATUS: Cortez was released on 140,000 bail and placed on administrative leave from her job. Her first court date is scheduled for March 22.
Jose Rosario Alvarez at Francis Polytechnic High School3 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Athletic Assistant
ARREST DATE: Wednesday, February 22
ACCUSED OF: Having sex with a 16-year-old student who attends another school in the Los Angeles Unified district. Police were alerted to the relationship in early February and found inappropriate contact between the two both over the internet and in person. Watch CBS2's video report from the night after his arrest.
CURRENT STATUS: The day after his arrest, Alvarez was released on 20,000 bond. He is scheduled to appear in court on March 15.
The school district has said that Alvarez will not have contact with students while the investigation is pending, reports the Associa
Alain Salas at Fremont High School4 of 9View more videos at: http://nbclosangeles.com.PLAY
SHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Teacher's Aide
ARREST DATE: Monday, February 13
ACCUSED OF: 3 counts of lewd acts and 1 count of contacting a minor for a sexual offense, according to the Associated Press.
The FBI says that a 15-year-old student is the victim.
CURRENT STATUS: Salas was released on bail on the 16th. He pled not guilty when he appeared in court a few days after he was arrested.
He's set to appear in court again on March 9.Paul Adame of Germain Street Elementary School5 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Janitor
ARREST DATE: Monday, February 6
ACCUSED OF: Committing a lewd act with a child on school campus.
CURRENT STATUS: Adame was booked and released on 100,000 bail.
In the past, he has been arrested for grand theft auto and other offenses, but he has only ever been convicted of "driving without an owner's consent," reports Chatsworth Patch.
He has been pulled from school duties.
Martin Springer of Miramonte Elementary School6 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Third grade teacher
ARREST DATE: Friday, February 3
ACCUSED OF: Initially, two elementary school students had come forward to accuse him of fondling them. However, he was eventually charged for lewd acts upon just one girl after the other recanted her story.
CURRENT STATUS: Springer was released on bail on February 9, but the judge ordered that he wear an electronic ankle monitor and stay away from the alleged victims, schools and parks, reports the "Los Angeles Times".
Mark Berndt of Miramonte Elementary School7 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Third grade teacher
ARREST DATE: Monday, January 30
ACCUSED OF: Taking "bondage" photos of children with cockroaches on their face and their mouths duct-taped shut. The photos also depict children eating cookies with a white substance on them, which authorities allege is Berndt's own semen.
CURRENT STATUS: Berndt is being held at the Twin Towers correctional facilities in lieu of 23 million bail.
At his arraignment, he pled "not guilty" to charges of lewd acts upon 23 students. He's set to appear in court again on March 28.
Paul Chapel of Telfair Elementary School8 of 9PLAYFULLSCREENZOOMSHARE THIS SLIDE STAFF POSITION: Third grade teacher
ARREST DATE: October 8, 2011. As of February 9, 2012, he has been held in jail on 2.2 million bail.
ACCUSED OF: Continuous sexual abuse against 3 girls and 1 boy from 2010 to 2011, according to the Daily News.
CURRENT STATUS: Chapel is currently in jail in lieu of 2.2 million bail. A court appearance is scheduled on March 20.
The school district placed Chapel on unpaid leave when he was arrested in October. Since then, his teaching license has been suspended by state officials, reports the Daily News.
Chapel faces 15 years to life if convicted.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/01/los-angeles-teachers-arrests n 1311936.html?ref=twhttp://memoirofaredemptivelife.com
WHY Bound WOMEN DON'T Comparable BIOLOGY
Do you chronicle according to research expert than 80% of the women quit biology. Why this happening? One widely held idea about why stage are not as much of women professors in the sciences than men is that women are less in accord to work the long hours enviable to happen as expected. Words in the January Query of BioScience, Shelley Adamo of Dalhousie University, Nova Scotia, Canada, rejects this scull. She points out that women physicians work longer hours than utmost scientists, under arguably expert vexing stick out, but that this does not daunt women from internal therapy.
Why, with, do women quit the bookish go behind in biology at boss put than they quit the medical profession? Adamo blames the difference in the timing of the utmost tremendous grade of competition in the two careers. In biology, the utmost weighty competition is for the first force position. This as a rule occurs such as women are in their juvenile 30's. Biologists move immature financial and institutional support for matching family and career participating in this vexing time. Women with strain find this compulsion clearly irregular, and it appears to be getting drop, like of a decrease in give or take a few bookish positions. Abounding career competition in therapy, in converse, occurs finance, yet to be utmost women move started families.
In the manner of women are in a force position in biology in Canada, they gain idiom at the precise rate as men. Canadian universities, special US ones, move mandated parenthood quit for women force and repeatedly time off linger of idiom. In accretion, the essential Canadian agency taking sides biology takes parenthood quit into peter out such as assessing usefulness. Hence, retention of women who move achieved tenure-track positions in biology is better than in the Connected States.
Adamo points out that if both countries decreased the number of graduate biology student positions, making competition for a biology career overstep finance, this would untreated make doorway to bookish positions easier later, and so enlarge the assess of women choosing a specialized career. But bringing about such a change -- for example, by rescue not as much of but better-funded graduate scholarships -- would include a in time reaction connecting giving way agencies, universities, and festivity professors.
Demonstration source: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1296420
Psychtronics.com gives the only uncontrollable topics of psychology and you need not to be a professional to understand the articles in the psychtronics. They are easy to understand to every one and it is mostly for the college students and Psychiatrists.Comparable us in FB to get Updates: www.facebook.com/psychtronicsFollow us in twitter: www.beep.com/psychtronics
Recently, there was an interesting study that revisited the efficacy of Tiger Parenting. Su Yeong Kim, associate professor at University of Texas, sought to quantify and measure whether Tiger Parenting was indeed effective. This is how Kim defined Tiger Parenting:For Kim's study, parents and children answered questions during the children's adolescence about their parenting styles. The vast majority of parents were foreign-born in Hong Kong or southern China, with relatively low educational attainment and a median income of between 30,001 and 45,000 in each of the study's three phases, spaced out equally over eight years. Three-quarters of their kids were American-born. The study controlled for socioeconomic status and other potentially confounding factors.... Adolescents and parents rated the parents on several qualities, for example, "act loving, affectionate, and caring, listen carefully," and "act supportive and understanding." Warmth, reasoning, monitoring, and democratic parenting were considered positive attributes, while hostility, psychological control, shaming, and punitive measures were considered negative. These characterizations would be combined through a statistical method known as latent profile analysis to determine Kim's four parenting profiles: Those scoring highest on the positive dimensions were labeled "supportive;" those scoring low on both dimensions were deemed "easygoing; harsh" parents were high on negative attributes and low on positive ones, and "tiger" parents scored high on both positive and negative dimensions.Poor Little Tiger Cub [Slate] (emphasis added)
The result? "[T]iger moms produced kids who felt more alienated from their parents and experienced higher instances of depressive symptoms. They also had lower GPAs, despite feeling more academic pressure."
As the Korean was reading the article, he could practically hear the cheers and see the tears of joy of the many, many haters of the Tiger Parenting idea. When the Korean wrote the post "Tiger Mothers are Superior", the reaction was swift and angry as hell, especially from Asian American. Many significant Asian American bloggers and writers spilled much digital ink claiming that Tiger Parenting was in fact inferior, and and was responsible for all the bad things that happened in their lives. Wesley Yang found notoriety through his New Yorker article, talking about how he heroically defied the yoke of Asian culture upon himself and told younger Asian Americans to do the same. Kim Wong Keltner, in her book "Tiger Babies Strike Back", kvetched about how she grew up having "no idea how to connect with other people." So, what does the Korean think about this development? Is he ready to change his mind about the benefits of Tiger Parenting?
Hardly. Tiger Mothers are still superior. And here is why.
(More after the jump.)
"Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at "askakorean@gmail.com.
Why is Tiger Parenting superior? To repeat the previous post, Tiger Parenting is superior because it creates superior results. Although Tiger Parenting may be found in any ethnicity, Asian Americans may serve as a natural experiment of sorts because they are a relatively homogeneous group in which Tiger Parenting is the norm. While not every Asian Americans may be successful, Asian Americans, as a group, are spectacularly successful despite facing long odds as racial minority and immigrants. This success is hardly limited to earning a lot of money and holding down a white collar professional job. Successful Asian American artists, athletes, business leaders, thought leaders, etc. are numerous, and their number is disproportionately large compared to the number of Asian Americans in the United States.
None of this changed between Amy Chua's book in 2011 and Su Yeong Kim's study in 2013. Tiger Parenting is still dominant among Asian Americans, and Asian Americans continue to succeed. This leads to a simple conclusion: what changed was the angle of view, not the thing itself. Indeed, Forbes posed this very question to Kim: "why do Asian-American kids so dominate at Stuyvesant, the public school that has the highest bar to admission in the city, while Asian-American students make up only around 14% of the city's total public school population?" Kim was forthcoming with the answer: "I don't have an answer for you. That will have to be the subject of my next study."
This is an important point. Based on experience, it is evident that Asian Americans employ a particular parenting strategy. (To be sure, similar strategy may appear frequently in other ethnicity as well, but not as uniformly as Asian Americans.) It is also evident that Asian Americans enjoy a great deal of success in the United States. So why does Kim's study fail to capture this very real success?
Part of the explanation may be about the sample. As Jeff Yang explains in the Wall Street Journal:
Class and education clearly play a role in the effectiveness of "Tiger"-style parenting - at least as far as academic achievement. My parents were strict, and had high expectations for my achievement, but they also did much more than just encourage and enforce: They spent hours working with me, answering questions, teaching workarounds, patiently (and sometimes impatiently) putting as much effort into my education as I did. Would that be true of parents who don't speak English, or didn't graduate from high school, or who work 80-hour weeks at a restaurant and come home exhausted? You could make a case that for parents whose backgrounds and cultural context don't allow them to roll up their sleeves and help, being Supportive could certainly produce better results than being Harsh or Tiger.Tiger Mom Amy Chua Responds to Tiger Baby [Wall Street Journal]
But I think this is only a part of the explanation. My sense about Kim' study is that this is fundamentally a problem of definition. Kim's definition of Tiger Parenting is in the emphasized portion above: a parenting strategy that is both significantly warm and significantly harsh at the same time. This definition is not off-base; Tiger Parenting is in fact characterized by the parents' willingness to be strict and demanding. The Asian American experience confirms this, and so does Amy Chua's book.
Yet this definition is incomplete. Tiger Parenting is much more than mere mechanics and strategies. An essential part of Tiger Parenting is the underlying assumption about the child's potential, and how to maximize it. This assumption is different from other styles of parenting.
What is the essence of Tiger Parenting? None other than First Lady Michelle Obama captured it succinctly, as she was discussing the way she was raising Sasha and Malia Obama. Michelle Obama made her daughters take up two sports: one of their choosing, and the other chosen by their mother. Why? "I WANT THEM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE AND TO IMPROVE."
That quote is the essence of Tiger Parenting. The goal of Tiger Parenting is teach the children how to overcome adversity. This is an absolutely essential skill for life, because even in the best possible circumstances, life is full of adversity. Take it from a guy who is married to a woman with her dream job: not even your dream job is dream-like at every moment. And of course, getting to the point where you achieve your dreams require a long, seemingly interminable, stretch of hard work and sacrifice. Without such hard work and sacrifice, nothing gets done. There is no situation in life in which sloth is awarded over activity.
The goal of Tiger Parenting entails an underlying assumption: the child does have the innate ability to overcome those adversities. With proper level of goal-setting, and with proper level of back-pushing, the Tiger Cub "will" learn to overcome the difficulties that she will undoubtedly face in her life. Indeed, this is what causes the tough methodology of Tiger Parenting. How will Tiger Parents make the Tiger Cubs keep doing what they do not like? Encouragement and cajoling alone will never work. The parents will have to become tough, at times verging on harsh. And the parents may become quite tough, because the child will be able to overcome the challenge and become even stronger.
We discussed much of this in the context of Asian Americans, but this basic lesson actually is not lost upon other Americans as well. If Michelle Obama was not enough, how about Coach Leta Andrews? Andrews, the coach for girls' basketball in Granbury High School in Texas, is the winningest high school basketball coach ever. Here is how Andrews and her former player (who was a four-time Olympian) described Andrews's coaching philosophy:
Former players stay in touch. In 1996, Andrews traveled to Atlanta to cheer on Amy Acuff, who had played for her championship team in Corpus Christi and was now competing in the Olympic high jump. Three years ago, shortly after having stents implanted in a blocked artery, Andrews drove eight hours to attend the funeral of Cerny's mother.
Acuff, a four-time Olympian, said: "I THINK PEOPLE OFTEN ARE AFRAID TO DISCIPLINE KIDS; THEY FEEL IT IS TOO HARSH OR THAT THE KID WON'T LOVE YOU. BUT I THINK THE ROOT OF RESPECT AND LOVE IS A PERSON EXPECTING AND DEMANDING THAT YOU BE AS GOOD AS YOU CAN BE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT."
Andrews longs for more diversity on her team and more gym rats, players who want to win as badly as she does. "Don't run around like a chicken with your head cut off," she scolded her offense Monday. But she is not ready to retire. The only win that is important, she said, is the next one.
"I'm not ready to turn this over to these younger coaches," Andrews told her husband recently. "THEY JUST DON'T DEMAND ENOUGH."Texas Coach Demands Best, Has Record to Prove It [New York Times] (emphasis added)
Demand enough, push hard, and the children will deliver results. This is but another incarnation of Tiger Parenting.
It is very important to keep in mind the priorities of concepts involved. Tiger Parents are not tough because they are sadistic monsters. Learning to overcome adversity is the goal; toughness is just a mechanics of getting there. Virtually all the errors surrounding Tiger Parenting are some version of confusing the mechanics of Tiger Parenting with its goal. This is the central error of Kim' study: the study measures the parents' actions, but not the motivation underlying the actions. This is also a common error for those who stridently decried Amy Chua's book when it came out: they were so distracted by the "no sleepovers" rule (which is just mechanics) that they completely lost sight of why such a rule is necessary.
Confusing the priority of these concepts also lead to failed Tiger Parenting--which, like all parenting failures, may come with devastating results. I have seen many cases of Asian parents, who never quite grasped the priority of these concepts, simply punished their children for bad grades without stopping to think about what the punishments are supposed to achieve. This is not Tiger Parenting; this is nothing more than the hollow simulacrum of Tiger Parenting that opponents mistake true Tiger Parenting to be.
"Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at" askakorean@gmail.com.
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